i'm a planner. i like to know what is going to happen and when it's going to happen. i have plans for my day, plans for my week, and even plans for my future. thing is, plans change. sometimes you make the change yourself, sometimes the change gets thrown at you without warning, and sometimes the change is in the back of your mind but you refuse to accept it. fears get in the way; you think you aren't good enough, you worry what you might miss, the workload seems too hard. you push it aside and try to stick to the original plan. that original plan isn't always best though, sometimes you have to let in the change. you eventually reach a point where you can no longer push it aside. i have reached that point.
yesterday marked the beginning of a new plan; a plan i didn't expect or necessarily wish for, but a plan that i am beginning to understand and embrace. it's a plan that will change my life entirely and a plan that god created. i know that this is the path i was meant to take all along, but it certainly doesn't make it any easier. i am scared yes, but i am also excited. i'm doing what i should be, i'm following the plan.
