recommendation has been submitted

those are the four words i saw tonight as i finished filling out my mission papers, recommendation has been submitted. i'm sure you are well aware that the process has been a slow one, not because of serious issues or anything, i mostly just needed to grow up a little bit (physically, mentally, and spiritually). nine months ago was when i took that first (small) step forward into the life of a future missionary, i was afraid of what was being asked of me and i was definitely not super committed. it wasn't until january of this year that i announced my plans publicly, i'm not sure why i kept it a secret for so long, but under wraps it stayed.

even though it took me a while to get to this point, the point where my papers are in and the final preparations begin, i see now that i needed that extra time to grow. i wanted to reach a certain level of dedication and positivity before submitting something so important and life changing. not only am i certain that this is what heavenly father wants me to do, but i'm certain that this is something i want to do. i want to help people and share with them the goodness of the gospel. i think this self-confidence and determination was the missing piece preventing me from getting anything done. once you find the missing puzzle piece, everything else falls right into place. i still have interviews, but i'm nearly there. soon enough i'll have a mission call and a departure date. soon enough i will wear a nametag and become a representative of the church of jesus christ of latter-day saints.

soon enough i will embark on the hardest and greatest experience of my life. and you know what? i sort of can't wait.