the kylee picture overdose

it sort of feels like christmas over here. i'm getting packages in the mail and a bunch of fun pictures (some of which you've seen already). i fear that if anyone new stumbles upon my blog, they're going to see my two latest posts and think i'm the world's biggest narcissist. if you're one of those look only, read not blog stalkers then you may miss the true meaning behind the kylee picture overdose – to thank and dote on my extremely kind & talented friends who know their way around a camera. before i go all fangirl on tera's amazing work, we should probably talk about the fact that she not only sent me a zip drive of photos but a coke bottle too! are you not swooning over her cuteness right now?!

like most photo shoots, we had our fair share of problems. it embarrasses me to admit it, but i was basically an hour late showing up. a lunch date took a little long, choosing an outfit took way too long, and driving up the canyon took the longest. i pulled to the side of the road just a tad early which resulted in my cellphone becoming a public phone for stranded cars. i finally found tera, and after struggling to find a spot for our cars, the camera magic began! she was unbelievably easy to work with and the results are simply wonderful. i love having both sets of photos – one before i received my mission call and one after. you can almost visually see the difference between the pre-mission-call kylee and the post-mission-call kylee. who knew confidence and spiritual growth would be so photogenic?

i have talented friends

i can't thank ayley enough for taking these pictures. you know you have a good friend when she willingly makes time for a missionary photo shoot while in the midst of planning her own gorgeous wedding. i feel so grateful for all the talented people in my life who have made this mission experience so special already (multiple photo shoots, an amazing video, wonderful words of advice, and even just the simple, loving, encouragement). i'm also grateful for little tender mercies that prove heavenly father hears and answers prayers. the weather on our planned picture date was anything but ideal. i think we were both picturing perfect light on a warm summer night, but instead we got scary looking clouds and a whole lot of rain. we were this close to rescheduling, but decided to utilize umbrellas and brave the rain. i said a little prayer just before meeting up with her, asking heavenly father to keep the rain away – even if just for a little while. and what do you know, we had a rain-free photo shoot! my heart swelled with gratitude that night for a loving god who cares about even the seemingly silly things in life like stopping the rain for a couple of girls who want take pictures. it's true what they say, heavenly father blesses his missionaries.

the best place with the best people

the best part about going through the temple for the first time, is all the supportive people who go with you. last night i felt more love than i ever have before. love for my family and friends, especially my mom; love for this wonderful church to which i belong, love for my heavenly father, love for my savior, and love for the missionaries serving all over the world. temples have always been important to me, but now more than ever, i see just how crucial regular attendance is. i'm already aching to go back, to learn more, to become better, and to once again feel that all encompassing love that can only be found in the house of the lord.

today was a special day

words of wisdom

"with faith we shall do as the lord directed." – m. russell ballard

“the lord has told us that or sins will be forgiven more readily as we bring souls unto christ and remain steadfast in bearing testimony to the world, and surely every one of us is looking for additional help in being forgiven of our sins.” – president spencer w. kimball

"is there any better way that you and i can demonstrate to the lord our love for him than to share his gospel?" – m. russell ballard

“it’s the spirit that counts. it is the spirit that matters.” – ezra taft benson

“you cannot force spiritual things. [but] you can create a [spiritual] climate.” – boyd k. packer

“it is wise to fear that our own skills are inadequate to meet the charge we have to nourish the faith of others. our own abilities, however great, will not be enough. but that realistic view of our limitations creates humility which can lead to dependence on the spirit." – henry b. eyring

remember that this is “the lord’s work and when we are on the lord’s errand we are entitled to the lord’s help. remember that whom the lord calls, the lord qualifies.” – thomas s. monson

“if you prepare spiritually, the holy ghost will help you know what to do and say in your teaching. you can prepare yourself by praying often, studying the scriptures; living the gospel, and being humble.” – true to the faith

the power of one invitation

today i felt like a missionary

today i felt like a missionary. i had that first taste of sweet success after many (many, many) attempts that only resulted in frustration and failure. today's experience is personal, one that i'm saving for private conversations and my private journal, but the experience was so meaningful that i couldn't resist at least mentioning it on my blog. i'm so grateful for this learning experience god has placed in my life, i realize now just how necessary it was that i go through it all – the good and the bad. missionary work is hard, but it's amazing and eternally important. my testimony grew enormously today and my excitement to serve a mission reached a whole new level. i know i'm in for some more frustrations and failures as a sister missionary, more than i've ever experienced before, but i also know that even one little success surmounts any darkness previously endured. the joy i felt today – and the joy i will feel as i serve the lord full time – is so big, so beautiful, and so perfect, that it truly is indescribable.

preparing for the changes that come in 55 days

my nightstand is currently a mission prep mess. pamphlets, scriptures, books, journals, preach my gospel, notebooks, handbooks, pens, pencils, highlighters, plus the essentials (you know… starbursts, water, carmex, and lotion). it has been both overwhelming and wonderful to prepare for a mission. i often feel inadequate in my preparations, but i also feel the savior's love more than i ever have before.  this is definitely one of those though trials your faith will be strengthened situations. not that preparing for a mission is necessarily a trial in my life, it's rather a blessing. a blessing that requires a great deal of effort and faith on my part. aren't those always the best blessing though? the ones that require your whole heart, might, mind, and strength?

speaking of faith, i had a really neat experience during institute last night. for the first time (maybe ever) i was actually excited to speak in front of a group. if this is what serving a mission feels like, then i think i'm going to love it. we were each assigned a christlike attribute (i was given faith) and asked to prepare a mini lesson. there were so many scriptures and thoughts i wanted to share, but i felt inspired to focus on alma 32. i spoke about five steps which can lead to strong faith, beginning in verse 21 and ending with verse 43. per usual, i failed to say all that i had prepared (nervousness does that to me), but i got up there and i excitedly proclaimed what i had felt impressed to share. it was a huge learning experience for me, one that really put a dent in that brick wall blocking my self-confidence.

i've been trying to transition into the missionary way of life. twitter has been the first to (successfully) go and facebook will be next once i'm released from my church calling. the hardest transitions have been the physical ones: exercising daily, early to bed, 6am mornings, even showering every single day is a challenge. the MTC may end up being the birthplace to some of these sister missionary habits. i feel pretty prepared as far as outfits go. we sort of jumped the gun on that one and purchased cute missionary clothes hoping i would be called somewhere with the climate and terrain that would allow for them. i've also been forcing myself to write in a journal. typing is my thing, papers and pens are not. i sure wish notebooks had spell check and delete keys. i have discovered though, that writing in a journal allows me to be a little more personal about names and experiences. such things should not go undocumented just because i'm not ready to share it in blogland.

i haven't even started thinking about the goodbyes i'll be saying. i think that will be the hardest transition, leaving the familiarity of my family and friends. i've never done it before, not even for college, and my trip to india was under three weeks so that doesn't even count. how does one even go about preparing for such a thing? how can you really smoothly transition from something you've known for 23 years? if you don't mind, i think i'll need some extra prayers on september 25th.