my nightstand is currently a mission prep mess. pamphlets, scriptures, books, journals, preach my gospel, notebooks, handbooks, pens, pencils, highlighters, plus the essentials (you know… starbursts, water, carmex, and lotion). it has been both overwhelming and wonderful to prepare for a mission. i often feel inadequate in my preparations, but i also feel the savior's love more than i ever have before. this is definitely one of those though trials your faith will be strengthened situations. not that preparing for a mission is necessarily a trial in my life, it's rather a blessing. a blessing that requires a great deal of effort and faith on my part. aren't those always the best blessing though? the ones that require your whole heart, might, mind, and strength?
speaking of faith, i had a really neat experience during institute last night. for the first time (maybe ever) i was actually excited to speak in front of a group. if this is what serving a mission feels like, then i think i'm going to love it. we were each assigned a christlike attribute (i was given faith) and asked to prepare a mini lesson. there were so many scriptures and thoughts i wanted to share, but i felt inspired to focus on alma 32. i spoke about five steps which can lead to strong faith, beginning in verse 21 and ending with verse 43. per usual, i failed to say all that i had prepared (nervousness does that to me), but i got up there and i excitedly proclaimed what i had felt impressed to share. it was a huge learning experience for me, one that really put a dent in that brick wall blocking my self-confidence.
i've been trying to transition into the missionary way of life. twitter has been the first to (successfully) go and facebook will be next once i'm released from my church calling. the hardest transitions have been the physical ones: exercising daily, early to bed, 6am mornings, even showering every single day is a challenge. the MTC may end up being the birthplace to some of these sister missionary habits. i feel pretty prepared as far as outfits go. we sort of jumped the gun on that one and purchased cute missionary clothes hoping i would be called somewhere with the climate and terrain that would allow for them. i've also been forcing myself to write in a journal. typing is my thing, papers and pens are not. i sure wish notebooks had spell check and delete keys. i have discovered though, that writing in a journal allows me to be a little more personal about names and experiences. such things should not go undocumented just because i'm not ready to share it in blogland.
i haven't even started thinking about the goodbyes i'll be saying. i think that will be the hardest transition, leaving the familiarity of my family and friends. i've never done it before, not even for college, and my trip to india was under three weeks so that doesn't even count. how does one even go about preparing for such a thing? how can you really smoothly transition from something you've known for 23 years? if you don't mind, i think i'll need some extra prayers on september 25th.
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