Roped together

Once upon a time I professed my return to blogging and then missionary life happened and blogging didn't. That isn't to say I don't have thoughts and experiences to share, I have LOTS to share. All the best things in life take time though, right?! None of that instant gratification here. Besides, how much more exciting is a random post every few months verses the daily dose of stop blogging already Sister Rowley!?

Now for the good stuff... Last week I was reunited with some of my very favorite people. They are the sort of people that make your heart explode when you see them because there simply isn't enough room for the amount of love you feel. We got to reminisce, talk about the gospel, and bask in feelings of gratitude for Christ and each other. Just one day later I was lucky enough to see those very same people only in a different circumstance. Somebody gave a talk in Stake Conference and I'll give you a hint... it wasn't me!

She shared a message from her heart and did what I've always wished I could do - get up there and just speak by the spirit instead of that awkward word for word reading (guilty!). A convert to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, she talked about how the missionaries tied her unraveled rope back together. I have since been thinking about that unraveled rope and how we as missionaries become unraveled too. Life is hard. No matter who you are, where you're from, or what you're dealing with, you are not alone! These challenges and imperfections were a part of God's plan from the very beginning. God loves all of His children so of course we will all experience both the good and bad in life. Remember, "for it must needs be, that there is an opposition in all things" (2 Nephi 2:11). How will we learn to appreciate success and joy if we don't also cross paths with failure and sorrow?

It's been decided then, everyone at some point or another, even multiple times throughout life, holds in their hand that unraveled rope that they alone can't put back together. If we can't tie our own ropes back together, who can? Of course the missionaries can help! In fact, missionaries do a lot of rope tying, it sort of comes with the calling of bringing others closer to Christ. But here's the missionary confession: our ropes aren't always perfectly tied together either. Don't freak out yet... as we help others' reconnect their unraveled ends, we start to tie their rope to ours and together we become stronger and more solid in our standing with Christ and His teachings. Not only do we as missionaries get to tie the ropes of those learning about the church, those struggling to come back to church, or even the active members who just need a little inspiration; but throughout the process of tying others' ropes to ours, we tie both to Christ's rope.

We came to earth with this seemingly perfect rope, but as soon as we stepped foot into the "real world" we discovered things that lead to that unavoidable split. Think about it though, had our ropes not fallen apart, we would've never had the need to be tied back together. If there was no need for a process of re-tying we would have missed the opportunity to latch onto the ultimate rope of strength that belongs to our Savior, Jesus Christ. His is a rope for all. He is the way we overcome our challenges and mistakes. He is indeed the Prince of Peace and the source of true happiness. Because of Jesus Christ and His example, we are individually sought after and made anew. With a fresh outlook on life, a greater understanding of God's love, and a newly tied rope we are then inspired to find those other unraveled ropes so they too can have the fullness of the gospel and an understanding of who they are and how much they are loved.

"And at that day shall the remnant of our seed know that they are of the house of Israel, and that they are the covenant people of the Lord; and then shall they know and come to the knowledge of their forefathers, and also to the knowledge of the gospel of their Redeemer, which was ministered unto their fathers by him; wherefore, they shall come to the knowledge of their Redeemer and the very points of his doctrine, that they may know how to come unto him and be saved" (1 Nephi 15:14).

God gave us voices, so we must sing

I've been sitting here staring at my blog trying to figure out what to do... perhaps if I stare long enough the inspiration will jump out of the screen and form itself into one of those well-written, awe-inspiring blog posts. I have all these internal questions that still go unanswered. What do I write about? How do I say it? What does the Lord expect me to do with this blog and what is MY personal purpose as a blogging missionary?

Missionaries all over the world are unified in their purpose; we invite others to come unto Christ by helping them receive the restored gospel through faith in Jesus Christ and His Atonement, repentance, baptism, receiving the gift of the Holy Ghost, and enduring to the end. We all have the same purpose, and we often use the same tools, but we're all a little different too. We all have unique talents and life stories, we're blessed with different personalities that inspire different people. We all have something to offer, we just have to be willing to discover how exactly the Lord wants us to share His message, and then go and do! I'm not here to tell you I'm the best blogger in the history of life, because let's face it... I'm not, but I am here to tell you that I've discovered a God-given talent and He expects me to use it. Just a couple weeks after opening my mission call, I heard the news: the Washington DC North Mission was going to be one of the first few missions to test-drive online proselyting! I had already felt that peaceful confirmation that I was indeed called of God to serve in the exact mission I was meant to be in, but then online proselyting was announced and I had this profound realization... God loves me, He knows me, and He wants to help me help His children.

This blog has been put on the back burner for the past 10 months, but Heavenly Father has reminded me that it's time to use my talents to share His gospel online. The inspiration came to me as I was listening to Sandra Turley perform at the Washington DC Temple Visitors' Center. Sandra has been blessed with this beautiful singing voice that grabs hold of your heart and settles in the soul. She spoke a great deal of God that night, and the love that He has for each and every one of His children. She then talked about this gift we have each been given. A "voice" is what she called the gift, but I knew for me it was more of a metaphorical voice. One that didn't sing, but instead one that wrote. In my heart I knew that this blog was a gift given to me from Heavenly Father and I needed to use it to spread His message of hope and gospel of truth. We're all pretty aware of the things we're good at, but are we using them the way the Lord intended? That's why I'm resurfacing here on this blog, trying to show my Heavenly Father how grateful I am to be His representative, to have this blog, and to live His gospel. Find your talents, talk to God about it, and start actively using them to inspire those around you. Remember the parable of the talents? I so want to have an encounter someday where the Lord sits me down and talks to me about all the talents He blessed me with. I hope to hear him say, "Well done, thou good and faithful servant: thou hast been faithful over a few things, I will make thee ruler over many things: enter thou into the joy of thy lord."  (Matthew 25:21)

Stick around, I plan on being here a little more regularly. I've learned some pretty neat lessons lately, the kind that are worth sharing with the world, even if it's just the online world.

photo from: https://www.facebook.com/sandradturley

Lay it at His feet

Imagine this. You're sitting in a room full of people. It's quiet... you're all thinking about the question that has just been asked. What are your regrets? What are the thoughts and actions that plague your mind? What do you wish you could change? You start to go through every little thing that you've been doing wrong. The list gets longer and longer and you start to feel overwhelmed. All your flaws and faults lay before you and you wonder if you can ever overcome them. The perfectionist within is absolutely freaking out.

You move outside. Symbolic of all those regrets are weights, they sit in a pile practically begging to be picked up. Picked up and carried by you and everyone you're with. They come in all different shapes and sizes, similar to the regrets and individuals that surround you. Which weight should you pick? Will it be too heavy? Will you be able to carry it? How far will you have to go? Your regrets are now more than thoughts in your mind, they become physical weights to be carried by you and you alone. Sure, you're surrounded by friends, all of you carrying regrets, but nobody knows exactly how you feel. The sun beats down, the sweat starts dripping, the silence continues. Will this ever end? Will you ever feel relief?

The end is near. Just when you think you can't go any further, back inside you go. It's cooler there, you're protected from the sun. The bugs can't get you anymore, and would you look at that... there are chairs! The best part is yet to come though... no longer do you have to carry the weight alone. There on the stand is a statue of Jesus Christ, the Redeemer of all mankind. His arms are outstretched and you've been told to lay your weight at his feet. You walk up to Him and hand over your burdens, walking away lighter while He takes on the

load every single person was carrying. Not half of it, all of it.

9 For it is expedient that an atonement should be made; for according to the great plan of the Eternal God there must be an atonement made, or else all mankind must unavoidably perish; yea, all are hardened; yea, all are fallen and are lost, and must perish except it be through the atonement which it is expedient should be made. (Alma 34:9)

We did this as missionaries, reflecting on the regrets we have had on our mission thus far. I often worry about how I will feel at the end of my mission. Will I have learned anything? Will I have changed at all? Will I continue to regret those same things or will I had tried harder to change? This experience was exactly what I needed as a missionary who had just reached her half-way mark. It was one of those mighty change of heart experiences, one that empowered me and helped me see that as long as I rely on Jesus Christ, I can do anything! Focusing on the regrets we have is useless. It's important to recognize where change is needed, but dwelling is dangerous and because of Christ, it's unnecessary.

The zone leaders were originally going to assign certain weights to certain people, but we ended up choosing our own, which an elder pointed out, was perfect considering how we often are the ones who weigh ourselves down. We choose to let ourselves be burdened by our past regrets and mistakes, not those around us, and definitely not Heavenly Father. Even when we were seemingly alone, trekking along with our weights in hand and the sun beating down, we were never truly alone. We all had different weights, different regrets, but we were all together, all struggling in one way or another. Sometimes I forget that I'm not the only missionary here or anywhere who struggles. It was cool to visualize that, to see all of us carrying our own weight but knowing that everyone in that entire group was carrying something. Nobody was exempt. Nobody ever is. Life is meant to stretch us, we're here to learn and grow. Trials are an essential, humbling part of this journey we call life.

The power of the Atonement is real. I'm so grateful for Jesus Christ, for His love, His example, and His sacrifice. I'm especially grateful for this experience that has helped me change not only as a missionary, but as a person who is just trying to do her best. These are the type of experiences that help me become who God intends me to be. God has a plan for everyone, mistakes and trials are a part of that plan, but so is The Savior, the one who can help you, me, and everyone. Lay it all at His feet, you don't have to do it alone. 

Fill your vase

I learned a really neat lesson the other day, one about the Atonement of Jesus Christ. I won't bore you with the who, what, where, and why of flower picking, but know that flowers were picked, placed in a water-less vase, and left unseen for hours. They were beautiful when they were first picked, so full of life! If flowers had the ability to feel happy, these flowers were feeling just that. While we were out living our busy missionary lives, the flowers died. The once beautifully bloomed flowers looked as though they would never recover. I had a thought, a simple one that took very little effort - add water. I did just that, I added water to the vase and when we returned that evening we quite literally gasped. The flowers were gorgeous! Back to that beautiful bloom, the one that has me wishing flowers had feelings so I could label them as happy.

Being a missionary, my mind couldn't help but relate this little experience to the gospel. Water is essential to sustain life - flowers, animals, humans, we all need it. Jesus Christ and his teachings (often referred to as living water) are essential for eternal life and true happiness. If we do not fill our spiritual vases with water, we will die. We all make mistakes, we forget to add the water, we put other things of lesser importance ahead of that water, sometimes we even blatantly refuse to add the water. Just as those flowers wither away, our spiritual progress begins to not only stand still, but deteriorate. Oh how important it is for us to fill our vases! Study the scriptures diligently! Attend church weekly! Pray with your heart, your whole entire heart! Attend the temple! Share the gospel! Do all that you can!! Fill your vase so you don't wither away. If I were a Book of Mormon prophet right now, I would probably turn my caps lock on and start telling everyone to repent now and come back, back to the path that leads to everlasting happiness! Happiness that is found here & now, and into the eternities, is only achieved by relying on Jesus Christ. We cannot return to full bloom, we cannot reach our full potential, and we cannot become who we are meant to become if we don't allow Christ to help us. Let Him in, let Him fill your vase.

I love to see the temple

It was at the Visitors' Center last night, that my appreciate for the temple grew. Just two weeks prior, I had attended the temple and prayed for an experience there that would strengthen my testimony. I was hoping to better understand the purpose and sacredness of the temple in my life. I walked away feeling certain that God was there and that He loved me, but I wasn't sure if I left with an answer to my prayer. Per usual, the answer came when and how I least expected it to. Heavenly Father always provides the best answers at the best time - something I've grown to really understand and appreciate here in the mission field.

We were there for a tour with one of the young single adults (oh how I love these young people I get to serve!), and it felt as though everything was perfect. The spirit was there in abundance as we discussed our loving Savior, the temple, and the best ways to prepare for the spiritual experiences that await us within. Although the tour was meant for someone other than me, I felt overwhelmed with peace, love, and happiness as the spirit testified to me that there is no purer place to be than inside one of the Lord's holy temples. I know that Heavenly Father loves all of his children and that we can feel closest to Him when we attend the temple. I know that reading our scriptures daily, attending church weekly, and doing our best to follow the example of Jesus Christ prepares us for the direction and love that we discover inside the temple.

I mean it when I say it, I love to see the temple and I feel honored to be a sister missionary here in the Washington, DC Temple Visitors' Center. I couldn't pick a better place to be.


“In the temples, members of the Church who make themselves eligible can participate in the most exalted of the redeeming ordinances that have been revealed to mankind.” -- Elder Boyd K. Packer

Have questions about the temple?? Leave a comment below, I'd be more than happy to answer!
Also visit mormon.org or lds.org for more information about temples and The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.

97 thousand people, 1 purpose, and a never ending holiday

I survived Festival of Lights! I'm going to go ahead and add that to my list of major life accomplishments. We had over 97-thousand people come into the Visitors' Center during festival... people from all over the world! Brazil, India, Nicaragua, China, El Salvador, Utah (hey, hometown!), Alaska, California, Texas, and even the Saudi Arabian prince! Different cultures, different religions, 97-thousand different people all coming together for one purpose... to celebrate Christmas. As my companion and I talked with people from all over the world, we were able to help them remember what Christmas is all about. We boldly and sweetly testified of Jesus Christ, and shared with others how much He means to us. Whether they realized it or not, everyone left the Visitors' Center with much more more than they expected to find. An increased knowledge of The Church of Jesus Christ, a deeper love for the Savior, a greater understanding of what makes a temple so special, and even increased feelings of love for their families. I think I gained just as much as they did, if not more. My love for The Savior has grown so much these past couple of months, as I have had the opportunity to daily bear testimony of Him. I know that He lives and that He knows me personally. I know that all the difficulties I'm going through as a new missionary are difficulties He has experienced already. I know He wants to help me if I but humbly ask.

The trees are coming down and the lights are turning off, but Christmas never really ends. The true meaning of Christmas is one that should be celebrated all year long. I invite you to do just that, to live with the spirit of Christmas daily. Why would anyone want to live a day without remembering Jesus Christ?

A simple testimony

The missionary life is a busy life, especially during the month of December. Festival of Lights has started! Pretty lights, free concerts, and all things Christmas! I expect every single person reading this to be singing, "it's the most wonderful time of the year" right now, because it really is exactly as that song says, the most wonderful time of the year. After a 6 hour shift at the Visitors' Center my feet might hurt, my hair may look like a mess, and my whole body might be begging for my bed (told you it was the most wonderful time of the year), but it's all worth it because I get to help people remember the true meaning of Christmas! Put all the presents, trees, and goodies aside... Christmas is all about remembering and serving our Savior, Jesus Christ.

My testimony is often a simple and straightforward one, but I think it's meant to be that way. The love Christ has for each of us is anything but complicated, and the love I have for him is equally simple. I know that Jesus Chris died for me personally, and for each and every one of us. I know that He never leaves us to handle trials alone, that as long as we reach out to him, He will help us. I'm grateful to have the knowledge that I do, and I am especially grateful for the opportunity I have to share it with others. I'm convinced that I'm about to experience the greatest Christmas of my life... I am after all, in the greatest mission in all the world.

the power to choose

I've been thinking about agency lately. It's quite amazing isn't it... the ability to choose for ourselves? We get to choose what to wear and what to eat, we get to choose what to study and where we apply for jobs. We get to choose what our favorite color is, decide if we're going to make the bed, or put our seat belt on when we get in the car. We get to choose whether or not we act in kindness or pridefully walk away. No matter the case, we always get to choose!

I chose to attend the University of Utah (my entire family cheers for BYU). I chose to start blogging back in 2008, a decision I will never regret. As far as recent choices go, I'm here dedicating 18-months of my life to the Lord. I even get to choose how I spend my time here... yes, we have rules, but we exercise agency in following them. What I'm currently learning is that happiness is a choice, one that I sometimes fail to make.

We recently had what is sometimes referred to as, "the golden investigator" - he was more ready to hear and accept The Gospel of Jesus Christ than anyone I had previously met (ignore the fact that I've only been serving for two months). I was convinced that he would be the first baptism of my mission and that he would share the gospel with his family and friends. Much of my happiness stemmed from him and his choice to meet with us. He was absolutely amazing and The Spirit was always with us as we taught and bore testimony. Just a few days ago he dropped us. He no longer wanted to meet, no longer wanted to be baptized, and no longer wanted to be apart of what I was certain he was ready for. I once thought that heartbreak was when the boy you had a crush on didn't like you back... that was nothing compared to this. I really struggled those next few days. I would ask myself what I did wrong and wondered what I could have done better to help him accept our message. He exercised agency and I didn't like the results.

Just now as I was writing my thoughts, I started thinking about how Heavenly Father must feel when we make choices that do not align with His hopes and will for us. Absolute heartbreak. But He, being all-knowing, foresaw that we would make mistakes and would need a way to overcome them. That is why He sent us the ultimate gift - the gift of The Atonement. It is because of Jesus Christ and his sacrifice that we are capable of overcoming all that we face.

I resolve to be more mindful of my choices, particularly my choice to be happy. I've always known that happiness is a choice, but I'm learning it more than ever as a full-time missionary. The other day someone told me, "you have two weeks to get happy", but really I only need one minute. A small act of kindness, a short prayer to Heavenly Father, or a hymn silently sung. It feels hard in the heat of the moment, but choosing happiness is one of the easiest and greatest choices to make. Heavenly Father blessed me with agency, I can and must choose to live happily and righteously.

Missionaries Blog Too

If you know how to throw a welcome back party, then I'm ready to be your guest of honor. I'm back! I'm blogging again and this time I'm blogging as a full-time missionary for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints! Choosing to serve The Lord for 18 months is the best decision I have ever made. Missionary life has been hard, really hard (I have no problem being honest about that), but it has been absolutely amazing. The daily miracles always outweigh the difficulties and trials that come my way. There is nowhere I'd rather be than right here helping others strengthen their relationship with Jesus Christ.

Everywhere I go, I'm reminded to utilize my talents as a missionary. Talents? What talents? Um, hello... blogging! It is no accident that the Lord has called me to serve in this particular place, at this particular time. Despite what some people may think, missionary work is much more than knocking on doors and giving away a Book of Mormon. Believe it or not, missionary work includes facebook and blogging.

So here I am with another blog, this time with a very specific purpose, a missionary purpose. Everything I share here will revolve around one little thought:  BE OF GOOD CHEER. "Wherefore, be of good cheer, and do not fear,  for I the Lord am with you, and will stand by you; and ye shall bear record of me, even Jesus Christ, that I am the Son of the living God, that I was, that I am, and that I am to come."  (Doctrine & Covenants 68:6)

I'm learning that the only way to do missionary work is with a happy heart and smile on my face. No matter what you say or do, it means nothing without love and sincerity. I'm learning that the only way to have that love and sincerity is by relying on the Savior. This is His work and His mission, not mine. I know that Jesus Christ loves us and knows us on a very personal level. Because of Him, we never have to feel alone. I may be out of my comfort zone, walking up to strangers and sharing with them my beliefs, but as long as I rely on Christ, there really is no reason to fear.