today i felt like a missionary
today i felt like a missionary. i had that first taste of sweet success after many (many, many) attempts that only resulted in frustration and failure. today's experience is personal, one that i'm saving for private conversations and my private journal, but the experience was so meaningful that i couldn't resist at least mentioning it on my blog. i'm so grateful for this learning experience god has placed in my life, i realize now just how necessary it was that i go through it all – the good and the bad. missionary work is hard, but it's amazing and eternally important. my testimony grew enormously today and my excitement to serve a mission reached a whole new level. i know i'm in for some more frustrations and failures as a sister missionary, more than i've ever experienced before, but i also know that even one little success surmounts any darkness previously endured. the joy i felt today – and the joy i will feel as i serve the lord full time – is so big, so beautiful, and so perfect, that it truly is indescribable.
preparing for the changes that come in 55 days
my nightstand is currently a mission prep mess. pamphlets, scriptures, books, journals, preach my gospel, notebooks, handbooks, pens, pencils, highlighters, plus the essentials (you know… starbursts, water, carmex, and lotion). it has been both overwhelming and wonderful to prepare for a mission. i often feel inadequate in my preparations, but i also feel the savior's love more than i ever have before. this is definitely one of those though trials your faith will be strengthened situations. not that preparing for a mission is necessarily a trial in my life, it's rather a blessing. a blessing that requires a great deal of effort and faith on my part. aren't those always the best blessing though? the ones that require your whole heart, might, mind, and strength?
speaking of faith, i had a really neat experience during institute last night. for the first time (maybe ever) i was actually excited to speak in front of a group. if this is what serving a mission feels like, then i think i'm going to love it. we were each assigned a christlike attribute (i was given faith) and asked to prepare a mini lesson. there were so many scriptures and thoughts i wanted to share, but i felt inspired to focus on alma 32. i spoke about five steps which can lead to strong faith, beginning in verse 21 and ending with verse 43. per usual, i failed to say all that i had prepared (nervousness does that to me), but i got up there and i excitedly proclaimed what i had felt impressed to share. it was a huge learning experience for me, one that really put a dent in that brick wall blocking my self-confidence.
i've been trying to transition into the missionary way of life. twitter has been the first to (successfully) go and facebook will be next once i'm released from my church calling. the hardest transitions have been the physical ones: exercising daily, early to bed, 6am mornings, even showering every single day is a challenge. the MTC may end up being the birthplace to some of these sister missionary habits. i feel pretty prepared as far as outfits go. we sort of jumped the gun on that one and purchased cute missionary clothes hoping i would be called somewhere with the climate and terrain that would allow for them. i've also been forcing myself to write in a journal. typing is my thing, papers and pens are not. i sure wish notebooks had spell check and delete keys. i have discovered though, that writing in a journal allows me to be a little more personal about names and experiences. such things should not go undocumented just because i'm not ready to share it in blogland.
i haven't even started thinking about the goodbyes i'll be saying. i think that will be the hardest transition, leaving the familiarity of my family and friends. i've never done it before, not even for college, and my trip to india was under three weeks so that doesn't even count. how does one even go about preparing for such a thing? how can you really smoothly transition from something you've known for 23 years? if you don't mind, i think i'll need some extra prayers on september 25th.
the day i got my mission call
Dear Sister Rowley:
You are hereby called to serve as a missionary of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. You are assigned to labor in the Washington DC North Mission. In addition to your calling to share the gospel, you will be assigned to serve in the Washington D.C. Temple Visitor's Center. It is anticipated that you will serve for a period of 18 months.
You should report to the Provo Missionary Training Center on Wednesday, September 25, 2013. You will prepare to preach the gospel in the English language. Your assignment may be modified according to the needs of the mission president.
i was showered with tender mercies that day. my sister was back from school, my uncle was in town, an influential visiting teacher was home from germany, another uncle was able to get off work early, kelli arrived just in the nick of time, and despite my last minute inquiry… hailey was available and entirely willing to share her talents. satan tried to weasel his way into the goodness of that day, but once i spotted that mission call in my mailbox all feelings of frustration and hunger vanished. from that point on, everything ran smoothly. the stresses were relieved, the problems were resolved, and the spirit re-entered my heart. the story of the map – although long, and probably quite boring – is a story of yet another tender mercy and an ever-loving god. it wasn't necessary that we have a map, but heavenly father knew the desires of my heart and made them happen. it was very evident that he wanted this day to be special, even if that meant helping me find a relatively large world map on a state holiday when stores were closed and possibilities were limited.
our mail never arrives before before 3pm, never! i checked the mailbox at least twice before noon knowing it wouldn't be there but trying anyways. on my way to walmart (for the second time) i decided to check again even though it was only 2pm. i opened the mailbox and about died when i saw that big, white envelope inside. leaving all other mail in the box, i ran in the house with a big smile, a happy heart, and a letter addressed to sister rowley. never before has a mail delivery been more important, more satisfying, more relieving, or more beautiful (can mail be considered beautiful?). while i could have chosen to open the call then & there or in the privacy of my bedroom, i chose to wait about six hours for the arrival of friends and family.
there wasn't a single moment that entire day when nervousness crept in, not even for a minute. i was at peace with my decision to serve and had already internally accepted the call to go wherever i was asked. i was excited, but in a calm sort of way that allowed me to patiently go about my day without peaking into my future. every amazing detail of that party (yes, we had a party) deserves an applause for my mother. she worked so hard and sacrificed so much to make that day as special as she could. if i can adopt mom's work ethic and selflessness and take it into the mission field with me, then i'll have nothing to worry about. i was surrounded by many friends and family members that evening, and for that i am grateful. it wouldn't have been the same without the excitement and support of everyone there, including two best friends who made the effort to attend via facetime.
looking back, it all feels a bit surreal. there i stood, in front of the people who matter most, reading (in a rather ungraceful manner) my future. i was overflowing with feelings of gratitude when i read that letter, and i'm overflowing again as i write about it now. i knew it the moment i saw it and i know it now, washington DC is exactly where i'm meant to be. i know that this call was heaven sent and perfectly tailored to fit who i am now and who i will become in the next 18 months. my preparation time is short, i leave in 58 days, but i think it's a good thing. heavenly father asked me to serve a long time ago, but i wasn't ready to listen. as soon as i committed, everything happened quickly. i feel relieved to be assigned to an english-speaking mission and equally relieved to be traveling somewhere within the US. i feel honored to be a sister missionary, especially one that will serve in the temple visitors center. to think that god trusts me enough to be the face of his holy house is extremely humbling. above all, i feel grateful to be a daughter of god and to have the knowledge that i do. the gospel of jesus christ is the single most important thing in my life and i'm excited to share that light and joy with the people and tourists of washington DC.
i wholeheartedly accept
called to serve in the washington d.c. north mission + washington d.c. temple visitors' center
september 25, 2013 - march 04, 2015
