Transfers are this week. Our area is closing, the YSA itself isn't, but the missionaries are leaving. It's not forever, but for now this is what President Cooke deems best. I have been included in the discussions about whether or not the group should continue to have missionaries, and even though I am often times a fence sitter about it, I totally see that it's time to move on. I have more to learn and do in other areas, and they as a YSA group have much to accomplish together as a team. I have total faith in them. I have had a few breakdowns, and have even had feelings of guilt. I wondered if I could have done more for them or if it was my fault that the missionaries were being taken out. I know that I did my best and that Heavenly Father is always a part of the decisions made here in the mission field. I'm just grateful that leaving is so hard - that I love these young adults so much that I don't want to say goodbye. I decided that this is what it must feel like to leave at the end of serving a mission, only ten times worse.
So I guess McDonald's hates me now. Apparently the hot mustard sauce had been discontinued? Is this true for all McDonald's? Tell me it isn't so. I went to order them for lunch and had to pick something else because I refuse to eat those nuggets without that amazing sauce. My second choice? Spicy chicken sandwich. Apparently they don't make that anymore either? Is this a Maryland thing, a we hate kylee thing, or a real thing? To make matters worse, the people working at the McDonald's near our home are NOT nice. These are the moments that I struggle to have a Christlike and missionary mindset, I did not walk away smiling. One time I wrote an entire paragraph about Mcdonalds....
Sister Fifita and I have gone on an organizing rampage. We have a lot of things to straighten out before they close this area so we are spending a lot of our time in the library. We're just trying to leave the members here in the YSA and in all the home wards with a good amount of information about the list of 400+ less actives so they aren't left with this overly massive project that then goes un-attempted.
We had dinner with Daniel last week so we could break the news to him. He looked the way I felt when the topic was first discussed... Devastated. He completely understood, but it was definitely something he didn't want to hear. He's such a good member missionary and I hope he knows how much I appreciate him. We ended up sharing a spiritual message about charity which was really more of a let us tell you how great we think you are. If I did nothing but learn to be an actively engaged member missionary from Daniel, then my time here was well spent. That's the one thing that will continue to stand out most to me here in to area, Daniel's devotion to The Lord and His work.
We've been making some major progress with online missionary work. We have had two skype lessons with Daniel Moore, a former investigator! He went back to school right after we met him so we picked him back up as an online investigator. I feel like I'm suddenly entering the real world of online missionary work. It's a miracle that we found Daniel home before leaving for school again. Internet connection sometimes becomes a problem - we had to reconnect to skype twice, but the spirit is still there! Even through a virtual lesson, the spirit can touch hearts and testify!
We had the most amazing experience at Daniel Martinez's last week. He's a less active in the QO ward. Emma wanted to go see him so she invited us along. I had never met him before and had no idea what to expect. He was just the nicest kid and I once again felt that overwhelming love Heavenly Father has for all of his children, but particularly for Daniel today. It's amazing that I can feel a snippet of that personal love He has for His lost sheep here in Maryland. We got to know him a little and then shared a video that I had felt prompted to share as we discussed what we should plan for him during comp study. I was looking through Mormon messages nonchalantly when I felt impressed to share the secure anchor video. It wasn't what I was looking for at the time, but it ended up being perfect for our lesson. I left Daniel's feeling so sad that the group will no longer have missionaries. I pray that these less actives like Daniel and Zarina don't get left behind. I pray that someone will take care of them, that the members will step up and the missionaries of home wards or maybe the MV elders take over. These YSAs are too important to me and more importantly, to Heavenly Father. I trust that president Cooke will think of something and make sure they are taken care of. I'm so glad that we were able to teach Daniel today. I've actually struggled to make that happen with our less actives. We say hi real quick, but we never get a real lesson in on the first visit. But notice that Emma was the one who set up this appointment and invited us to come along, not the other way around? Members are essential!! Especially in reactivation efforts.
Miracles happen even at 10:25pm. We have a member committed to teaching with us tomorrow! #onlyinthesinglesward I needed that miracle before bed. I needed that little sign from Heavenly Father.
Something that elder Gardner said in district meeting has been really sticking with me - sometimes we score, sometimes we assist. Both players are essential in the game. Right now I'm assisting, I'm finding people for other missionaries to teach. And even though all the investigators I've taught in this area ended up being a former, I assisted the missionaries who will someday come in when the time and setting is just right for the score.
Something I've been thinking about lately is how grandpa's Alzheimer's is a blessing for our family. Because of this trial, we have all been given the opportunity to better develop Christlike attributes. I've seen it in the letters and emails I receive from home. I read about all the little things everyone has done to help both grandma and grandpa and I can't help but feel grateful to be part of such a wonderful family. I'm especially grateful for grandma as and confines to love and care for grandpa, even though I imagine it's really hard to do. As I see and hear about the trials that other missionaries and their families are going through, I see just how lucky we are, and just how kind Heavenly Father is. Trials cannot be avoided in this life, but as elder Eyring said in the general women's broadcast, our trials have been perfectly planned for us. Not only am I blessed with an amazing family back home, but also an amazing mission family. It's an honor to serve here under the direction of president and sister Cooke. It's also an honor to be surrounded by so many valiant elders and faithful sisters. The missionaries here are amazing. So many of them have and are currently going through trials that I could never handle with the grace and strength that they do. Divorce, illness, cancer, death... they just keep moving forward doing all they can to love others and share the gospel. I am surrounded by true disciples of Jesus Christ. I'm not always good at showing or telling people how much I love them and I fear that so many of these missionaries will go home and move on with life without ever knowing the impact they had on
me.
I love you all so much and I am so grateful for the inspiration that you are to me. Thank you for loving the Lord and for loving me. Next time I write I'll have a new home and new people to meet. I sort of feel like I'm a brand new missionary again.
Love,
Sister Rowley
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