and then i became a trainer...

so i guess i'm training now?? president called on friday afternoon - he said he was just taking inventory and wanting to know if we had any extra beds in our apartment. 5 minutes later he called again with the biggest, least expected, a bus just hit you news... a sister was coming to DC from the mexico mission and she was going to be MY companion. she was 5 weeks in and originally from utah. that's about all i knew. i didn't really understand at first - and quite honestly, i feel like i still don't. she's still a new missionary, and still needs to be trained, which makes me a trainer? WEIRD. she's going to eventually go into the spanish program and may even make that transition in 3 weeks when transfers happen, but for now she's in the english program with me and sister johnson and I'M A TRAINER. do you catch my i can't believe it - i'm still sort of freaking out drift? I continuously ask myself why me? I had sort of come to terms with the fact that I probably wouldn't train (i was terrified of the thought anyways). With the full pros and full VC system, I knew there wouldn't be many more VC sisters coming in, and I had sort of already decided on my own who would be the best trainers. And then Heavenly Father threw me for this loop and I'm still trying to process it. It's a really interesting situation, and I'm in this weird trial and error/figure out what I should be doing stage. I'll find little things as we go along that afterwards I think to myself, "oh! I probably should've done this instead or next time i should change this!" It's also weird being in a trio, because I've never experienced that before, so I'm still adjusting to that as well. Plus it's like I'm training but not because I don't know what I'm doing and sister Johnson definitely does. It's just weird and new, but also so great. Sister Wathen (i guess i should tell you her name!) is fabulous and it's so neat how all of a sudden your problems disappear because you don't matter anymore, you have someone else to worry about and their concerns and challenges are waaay more important than yours. Yes, we get that with investigators, but we don't see them 24-7, it's different. I remember being a brand new missionary and wanting to go home so bad. Missions are hard, and being new is the hardest. I just want sister Wathen to be happy and to enjoy being here with us. I want her to feel confident, I want to be the best example I can be, and make sure she isn't feeling overwhelmed. It's such a big and important job! It feels scary sometimes! It's one thing to fail yourself, but to fail someone else, especially a brand new missionary... Yeah, no thanks. This requires lots of prayer, obedience, and relying on the savior because only he knows exactly what sister Wathen needs and when she needs it.

i'm still wondering why me and why the english program, but as i've been thinking about it - i think sister johnson and i have been able to help her feel loved - which might be what she needs most right now. i'm not good with saying "i love you" or hugging a whole lot, but in my own way i do help people feel my love and God's love. plus i'm reaching this point in my mission where i'm legitimately happy to be here and having a new missionary is sort of pushing that to a whole new level where i sort of have no other option but to be happy & positive. i want the best for her, which means i have to think less about me and my concerns. The ward has responded really well to sister Wathen! She's been a miracle catalyst for us here in Chevy Chase. All of a sudden we're being fed again (hallelujah!!) and finding solid street contacts. Pretty sure Chevy Chase is partial to trios. I think Sister Wathen misses being with people who speak Spanish, her face totally lit up last night when she met some of the Spanish speaking sisters in the VC. She's excited to go the VC and I'm excited to show her around there. I love it there so it's exciting to share that love with someone new who is so open minded about loving it too!

so that's the story of how i became a trainer. i was terrified when i first heard about it, sister johnson had just recently gotten off the phone with president - her and sister croese had been praying and trying to figure out where to send sister wathen and after they had decided me, president cooke called and said that he had decided to send her to sister rowley. i cried when i found out - i was just so shocked and unprepared that i had no idea how else to react. i hope she's doing okay. she was having trouble sleeping in mexico and then the food started making her sick, so instead of sending her home they sent her here. i think she's wondering why she's here and why she was sent to mexico in the first place. i hope i can help her see why and help her feel confident in who she is, especially as a missionary.

i feel like my big news this week makes up for the lack of everything else. i'm a trainer, i'm terrified, and i have no idea what i'm doing, so HUZZAH! 

love you all, love the VC, and love my two companions!

- Sister Rowley