12/30/2013 email

Serving a mission is the hardest thing I have ever done in my life. People told me it would be hard, but I don't think anyone can ever understand just how hard missionary work is until you serve one. And even then, it's hard in very different ways for each missionary and each mission. I have been on the world's largest emotional roller coaster. One minute I love my life, the next minute I'm ready to quit and looking for tissues so I can dab my eyes (that line is for you, friends). I refuse to quit though, I think part of it is because I'm stubborn and the other part is because I know that Heavenly Father wants me here. I often ask myself that question, and although the list is rather small, there are definite reasons why I am here.

- So I could meet Sister Busath. She has become my very best friend here on the mission, and I know we will be friends forever. She helps me through so much and always acts in love for everyone and anyone she talks to - missionaries included.
- President Cooke even once told me that he needs me here.
- Because Heavenly Father asked me to be here.
- To strengthen my own testimony.
- To bless my family back home.
- To be worthy of my future husband.
- To become a better mother.

Christmas was so good, so hard, and so different this year. I really missed home and especially missed being with family, but I also discovered that I have family here. I have the very best second family here in DC. We had a party on Christmas Eve at the VC with all the sisters and senior couples. I ended up leaving with tears streaming down my face because I felt so overwhelmed by how loved I am (all of the sisters got gift cards for Cafe Rio, treats, bracelets, pictures, and $30 to Macy's). I really learned the beauty of giving, oddly enough I learned it by receiving. Earlier that day we had a special Christmas Eve dinner where we were taken to "Jerusalem" to eat like Mary would have. It was a very simple dinner, one of bread, hummus, cheese, nuts, dried fruit, and grape juice. I must admit, I was grumpy about it at first. I didn't like much of what we were having and I felt as though I wasn't being fed enough food for a long evening at the VC. The theme for Christmas this year: HUMILITY. I learned a lot of humility in a lot of different ways. I started to really think about how much I am blessed with, both back home and here in DC. I am a missionary who gets fed dinner every single night at the VC during Festival of Lights, we get iPads and iPhones this week, I have Cafe Rio in my area and have been at least 5 times since arriving, I have access to email and receive letters from my friends & family often (THANK YOU, THANK YOU!), I got to skype home for Christmas, and the list goes on and on and on...

I have a LONG ways to go, but I definitely see that I am changing and becoming better. It's a slow process, but it is a process and it is happening. I don't always see it, but sometimes I do and those times I don't, there are people around me who help me out by showing me just how much I'm growing. We got bookmarks this year that have a list of things the other sisters think about us. There is one remark in particular that really helps me, and especially helped me out yesterday as I was struggling (again for the millionth time), "The only thing Heavenly Father expects is that we are trying and progressing. You are."

LOVE YOU SO MUCH!

Thank you for all that you do, for all your love & support, and especially for your prayers!

Humbled by Christmas

Oh hey, I'm still alive...barely. Sister Rowley needs 40 more hours of sleep and 50 more hours of study time, so if anyone knows how to generate that, late Christmas gifts are definitely appreciated. Festival of Lights is keeping me busier than every finals week I've ever experienced added together, but this is better than taking finals, waaaay better.

Christmas was different for me this year. I'm away from home and my family, there was no snow in sight, and I really learned the importance of giving. Here comes that awkward moment when I admit that I'm kind of a selfish person and it's something I struggle with every day as a missionary, even Christmas day. This year, I learned a lot about humility and the beauty of giving. I don't have much time to write about the wonderful things I received over the past few days, but know this... in those gifts and acts of service I discovered the true meaning of Christmas. There are some amazing people here in DC, I am indeed a very blessed missionary. MERRY (day after) CHRISTMAS!

Pics of the Week

Meeting Elder Christofferson

Running into familiar faces (height twins):

12/23/13 email

MERRY CHRISTMAS! i can't believe tomorrow is christmas eve!! i'm really going to miss having dinner at eric & tamra's house this year (and next), it's my very favorite meal of the year. maybe want to send me my gift to christ note card in a letter so i can see what i wrote last year?! i will make my own here in DC and open it again next year on christmas eve!

because of festival of lights, we haven't spent much time in our area, but I think I have finally found my purpose in the Visitors Center. we were asked to do that a while ago, but i gave up, thinking that i had yet to find my purpose at the vc. I kept thinking that I had to specifically define it, but I've discovered this week that my purpose in the VC changes every single day. My purpose is entirely dependent on who I meet and talk with. One of my purposes last week was to meet Eddie, his wife Erika, their little baby boy Jason. Sister Clement was giving them and Erika's sister + her husband a tour. It was a Spanish tour, but when they came to the house (where we show a video called God's plan - all about eternal families), Sister Clement had me go in with her to be her companion. I don't speak Spanish, but it was one of the neatest experiences thus far in my mission. I love when I get to interact with those of the Hispanic culture. It makes me feel close to dad and i often think of the wonderful people he served in Honduras and how blessed they are now because of his service and his testimony. I come to really love the Hispanic people here that I am with even though I'm not doing much (or any) of the talking. While they watched the movie, Sister Clement helped me feel better about some of the things that I was struggling with. She then said that I needed to testify after the movie, that they needed to hear what I had to say. I was nervous at first, but I spoke in English and they understood it. I thought Sister Clement was going to translate, but there was no need, the Holy Ghost did that for me. I was able to tell them that what they were feeling and learning right now was good and that it was from Heavenly Father. I bore testimony of eternal families and was able to share how much mine meant to me. Being the weepy person that I am, I started crying, but in doing so and in sharing my testimony, I was able to provide a spiritual experience for that family. Erika started crying herself and they were super receptive to our invitation to meet with missionaries. Because of ME and MY testimony and MY struggles, I was able to help another family further understand the blessings of eternal families and now they can have that as they continue to meet with missionaries!

wish i could have 10 more hours to write you, but i get to skype tomorrow!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

love, sister rowley

this weeks email

FRIENDS! FAMILY! hello!

another week has come and gone with it's own challenges and miracles. i am discovering that mission is so hard. people tell you that a mission is hard, but until you serve you cannot fully understand what they mean. my weaknesses are exposed ten-fold and my vulnerabilities are even more accessible to satan than before. he knows how to make me feel bad about myself and he knows how to make me miss home and desire to be there. he is really trying to stop me from fulfilling my purpose as a missionary. i was reading in alma this morning about moroni preparing for war. he sent in spies to find out what the lamanites were planning so he could better prepare his army. i learned that i need to do the same for myself. i need to figure out exactly how and when satan is trying to bring me down so i can fight against him. i KNOW that i'm supposed to be here and that there are specific people that i'm supposed to help - one of which i met the other day at the visitors center. i'm discovering that helping people on a mission does not mean i baptize them and introduce them to the gospel entirely, but rather i give words of encouragement, remind them that god loves them, and even share my own love for them. i think i will end up planting a lot of seeds, but i may not be around when they turn into trees.

so, i got a speeding ticket the other day. we got the call this morning. the streets in maryland are crazy! one minute it's 40 mph and then in 2 seconds it's 35, and then 5 seconds later it's back at 40. okay, so maybe the second thing is in exaggeration, but the speed limit is constantly changing and the signs are not always easy to see. worst part, they aren't actual cops, instead they have these cameras at the intersections. there is no avoiding them. i was actually really upset that i got a ticket and i let it get me down. i felt mad that i wasn't more aware, but i have to remember that i am still new here and the streets are crazy, so i quite literally didn't know. it was an honest mistake. [mom/dad, i'll be paying for that out of my account at home. sis mendenhall and i are supposed to split the cost - i'm supposed to have $200 in there at all times for emergencies... i also need to use that card today to buy a blanket and some other things from target. i contemplated having you send me that comforter, but i think a blanket will be better so i will buy that today].
we had interviews with president cooke & sister cooke last week! BEST THING EVER. i love them so much. i couldn't pick two better people to take care of me while i serve here. i've been struggling with my prayers lately, feeling like they aren't very heartfelt. i wonder if it's because i'm tired or because i don't have the privacy i once did at home. PRAY VOCALLY! you don't realize how important that really is until you are put in a position where you can no longer do so. sister cooke really taught me that night about prayer. she told me that she sometimes pictures herself kneeling at the feet of heavenly father and heavenly mother (sister cooke is always including heavenly mother, and i love that she does). she painted the picture of literally kneeling there and having your head in their lap and them stroking your hair. i felt so overwhelmed with love in that moment. i knew that what she was telling me would work if i tried (i haven't yet). just hearing about it helped me feel my heavenly father's love for me. i know he wants to help me and i know i need to be more open with him. i need to talk with him the way i talk with you. president is so confident in me and sees the best parts of me. i'm so grateful for him and even though i've said it before i really mean it - there is no other mission president i could have served under. i feel so so blessed to be here. this is the absolute hardest thing i've ever done in my life, but it's also the greatest thing. i love my family and friends more than ever before and i also love the lord more than ever before.

LOVE YOU ALL SO MUCH!
and thank you for the letters! heavenly father always gives me mail on the days i need it most. it's such a blessing to have so many wonderful people writing me. please please keep writing!

Pics of the Week

SNOW! actually made the missionary happy…

Treats and notes from the home ward… made her day!
Lights.

merry Christmas from dc

email

FRIENDS & FAMILY!

once again i have so much i want to tell you and not enough time to tell it.

we just had ambassadors night and diplomat night at the VC last week. they were non-proselyting nights, but i definitely feel like we were able to accomplish our purpose as missionaries. the simplicity of a smile is a HUGE teaching tool for all members of the church. people can really sense that light of christ within when you smile and be as kind as you can. the first night i was on coat check (the job they said was for organized sisters). i loved that job and was wishing i could do it again for diplomat night. turns out the reception job was my favorite. we got to walk around with food and serve the diplomats, their families, and other guests. we were encouraged to talk with them, something i was nervous about for some reason. it was THE BEST! the diplomat from el salvador is pretty much my favorite person ever. sister chapman and i were in charge of walking around with a bowl of meatballs (chili sauce and grape jelly - IT WAS SOOO GOOD! and i don't even like meatballs), and toothpicks/napkins. the diplomat from el salvador LOVED them. he had at least 9 of them and we kept walking around the room so when we would see him we would walk up to him and ask if he wanted another. he eventually said no and then he secretly whispers to sister chapman, "meet me in the back at the end of tonight and i'll get some more" he was just kidding, but it was hilarious, and he was just the nicest guy. i also briefly met the diplomat from Honduras. He was super young and him and some of his friends mentioned (they actually might have been assistants, i'm not positive on that), but he was from Honduras and him and his friend mentioned BYU so i figured it was safe to guess that they were members (they were!) i was able to mention that my dad served in Honduras! i love how dad's mission keeps popping up here for me. a tender mercy to say the least. we also met jason chaffetz, the UT senator, and some of the marriots (the hotel people). before these events i hadn't really thought about how involved the church is in government issues and how essential it is that we maintain that positive relationship so we can continue sending missionaries all over the world. the ambassador from Switzerland was the one who was a keynote speaker the night he came, and together with Elder Christofferson, they turned on the festival lights! It's just neat to see the whole world essentially come together in a building that stands just across from the temple. i didn't expect the evening to be focused on christ at all, but the speakers all spoke about the Savior and the church. I definitely cried that night, but of course that's no surprise.

i had a REALLY tough day on friday. we were at the temple, and even though it's a place of peace, i felt really overwhelmed and the exact opposite of peaceful. i later had the very distinct feeling that what they say is true, Christ really does walk the halls of his holy temples, and he really does care about me. right before going into the celestial room i had a breakdown, i was half overwhelmed with being a missionary and half overwhelmed by the spirit and christ's love for me. sister burnham just happened to be there right when i needed her. i was really missing home that day, and she was such a good proxy mom in that moment (and here i am crying all over again). she just hugged me. i didn't need her to say anything, i just needed a mom. it's such a blessing to work with these amazing senior couples at the VC. it really is like having 6 moms and dads who all love you so much. (elder & sister burnham, elder & sister petramalo, elder & sister eyring, elder & sister gillespie, elder & sister crandle, and president & sister cooke... could i be any luckier!?). sister busath also took care of me, as she always does. she came over and talked to me and made sure i was okay and gave me a few suggestions to help. i haven't been writing home lately, partly because time is so limited, but i see now that i really need to. i need to for my own sanity. i have discovered that i try to do as much missionary work as possible, that even during lunch time i try to make phone calls or focus on being a missionary. that's good, but it's also good to be kylee, to give myself the time to re-energize. because i don't have constant access to a computer, i can't blog as often as i'd like, so i have to write more letters and express my thoughts that way so i can clear my mind and be the best missionary possible. that's all i want, to be the best missionary i can be and to make heavenly father proud. it's so hard to find that balance between being a missionary and being a normal person. i also find it hard to balance all the "areas" and roles i have here. we are normal proselyting missionaries (although it doesn't feel like it right now with festival of lights every night), we are also online proselyting missionaries, and even visitor center missionaries. i so badly want to be able to do my 100% best in each area, but i am starting to see that it may not be possible to do that, that i have to focus on the specific area i am in when i am there. i have to be okay with not being the best at everything and i definitely need to work on not comparing myself to others, especially the elders who do have more time in the area because they are not at the VC. this morning as i was studying i was reading in alma 37:6-7 and that concept of by small and simple things, great things are brought to pass really stood out to me. i told you that the APs are helping out with our area now right? i started to feel like as sisters, we weren't doing anything or had done anything previous to their arrival, i felt like a bad missionary. but heavenly father helped me see that i am helping by doing the small and simple things. the elders are currently teaching Ray, his girlfriend and also his brother. some other elders found Ray and referred him to us as the YSA sisters. we couldn't get a hold of him for quite some time, but we eventually did and we were able to set up an appointment. The APs ended up coming to that appointment with us and taught such an amazing lesson. we were the ones that made that appointment happen, we were the ones who knocked on his door, introduced ourselves in such a way that he was willing to let us come back. small and simple. and now he's taking the lessons! i also read my patriarchal blessing this morning and felt so much love from heavenly father. i know he is proud of me for serving and i know he doesn't expect perfection, just my best efforts. i just need to be okay with my best sometimes being less than 100%.

LOVE YOU SO SO SO MUCH! all of you!

love, sister rowley

A simple testimony

The missionary life is a busy life, especially during the month of December. Festival of Lights has started! Pretty lights, free concerts, and all things Christmas! I expect every single person reading this to be singing, "it's the most wonderful time of the year" right now, because it really is exactly as that song says, the most wonderful time of the year. After a 6 hour shift at the Visitors' Center my feet might hurt, my hair may look like a mess, and my whole body might be begging for my bed (told you it was the most wonderful time of the year), but it's all worth it because I get to help people remember the true meaning of Christmas! Put all the presents, trees, and goodies aside... Christmas is all about remembering and serving our Savior, Jesus Christ.

My testimony is often a simple and straightforward one, but I think it's meant to be that way. The love Christ has for each of us is anything but complicated, and the love I have for him is equally simple. I know that Jesus Chris died for me personally, and for each and every one of us. I know that He never leaves us to handle trials alone, that as long as we reach out to him, He will help us. I'm grateful to have the knowledge that I do, and I am especially grateful for the opportunity I have to share it with others. I'm convinced that I'm about to experience the greatest Christmas of my life... I am after all, in the greatest mission in all the world.

pics of the week

Meal calendar… FULL
Missionary tummies… FULL!

Thanksgiving leftovers…
Happy missionary!

New companion…

email

FRIENDS & FAMILY!

i love you all so much! hope you had a great thanksgiving and most importantly, i hope you spent the day thinking about how blessed we are to have the gospel of jesus christ in our lives and to have families that last forever. i was particularly grateful for my own family that day, even though were were miles apart, i was grateful to know that they were at home having a wonderful meal together in a home that loves our savior and lives the gospel daily.

transfers happened! i am with sister mendenhall now and she is absolutely great! we get along so well, and the spirit is so strong when we teach together. we had a great lesson with a new investigator last night and i was once again able to invite someone to be baptized. she said she isn't sure yet, but that's okay! you start with the big question, baptism, and then you invite them to read the book of mormon and pray - those invitations seem much easier after you ask someone to be baptized. she said the sweetest, most sincere prayer at the end of our lesson and even though she said she didn't want to until later that night, she ended up praying specifically to know if the book of mormon was true.

we now have two sets of missionaries for the ysa group! the APs (elder jellito and elder miyasaki) will be helping us with our area throughout december (festival of lights at the VC) and possibly even after december. i am really excited to work with them! the four of us taught a lesson a few nights ago, and holy smokes, those elders are amazing!! i felt like i was the camera crew on the district, filming two great elders teaching an amazing lesson. i learned a lot from them that night, and also learned that i am not a perfect teacher, nor will i ever be. it was a humbling experience to watch two experienced missionaries teach. i felt down at first, a feeling that continued even into the next day, but that experience is what allowed me to better rely on the lord and recognize that the elders taught so well because they were in tune with the spirit. my spirits were lifted as sister mendenhall and i taught a little "how to teach" lesson in ward coordination. we shared elder zwick's simply and intensify method and my testimony of that grew immensely. the gospel really is simple and a testimony is really the best way to invite the spirit to be the last to speak.

i get to drive again!!!! 2 months later and i finally get to drive again! i was so sick of always being the missionary standing out in the cold backing up my companion. it's just nice to contribute more, and not always be in the passenger seat. i'm still learning my way around, but that GPS is a life saver - thanks for sending it!! the streets here are craaazy.

we went to teach someone who has been investigating for a while now, and he is a ysa so we get to start teaching him! we thought we were in the right place, but turns out we weren't. we walked around in the rain for 30 minutes searching for his apartment. thank goodness we finally found it!

FESTIVAL STARTS TONIGHT! yikes. tonight is when all the diplomats come in. it will be a non-proselyting night, and more of a "look at my smile and see the light of christ in my eyes as i hang your coat up". yep, i'm the coat check sister (along with a few others). i was told that they put the organized sisters there.

the neatest thing...
so there are a lot of hispanics in the area, and i of course don't speak spanish. my VC companion for the night did though, and we were assigned a spanish tour. i stood and smiled (and also met elder welch who asked me if i was taylor's sister) and nodded, because i didn't have a clue as to what was going on. she was from el salvador, but at one point sister shaw forgot and thought she was from honduras. we were looking at the temple kiosks, so she went to show her a picture of the temple in her home, but instead of el salvador, she pulled up honduras! i took that as a tender mercy from heavenly father. i sort of pictured dad being in honduras speaking with people just like this great woman who was investigating the church. it was just a really neat experience, even though i was sort of out of the loop as to what was going on. i'm just so glad dad served and so glad that i can be serving now. AND NOW CUE CRYING ROWLEY FAMILY. if i'm crying, you must be too.

WE GET TO CHAT THIS TRANSFER!!!!!! i am sooooo excited! i'll keep you updated on my experiences!

LOVE YOU ALL SO MUCH!!!!!