email

FRIENDS & FAMILY!

once again i have so much i want to tell you and not enough time to tell it.

we just had ambassadors night and diplomat night at the VC last week. they were non-proselyting nights, but i definitely feel like we were able to accomplish our purpose as missionaries. the simplicity of a smile is a HUGE teaching tool for all members of the church. people can really sense that light of christ within when you smile and be as kind as you can. the first night i was on coat check (the job they said was for organized sisters). i loved that job and was wishing i could do it again for diplomat night. turns out the reception job was my favorite. we got to walk around with food and serve the diplomats, their families, and other guests. we were encouraged to talk with them, something i was nervous about for some reason. it was THE BEST! the diplomat from el salvador is pretty much my favorite person ever. sister chapman and i were in charge of walking around with a bowl of meatballs (chili sauce and grape jelly - IT WAS SOOO GOOD! and i don't even like meatballs), and toothpicks/napkins. the diplomat from el salvador LOVED them. he had at least 9 of them and we kept walking around the room so when we would see him we would walk up to him and ask if he wanted another. he eventually said no and then he secretly whispers to sister chapman, "meet me in the back at the end of tonight and i'll get some more" he was just kidding, but it was hilarious, and he was just the nicest guy. i also briefly met the diplomat from Honduras. He was super young and him and some of his friends mentioned (they actually might have been assistants, i'm not positive on that), but he was from Honduras and him and his friend mentioned BYU so i figured it was safe to guess that they were members (they were!) i was able to mention that my dad served in Honduras! i love how dad's mission keeps popping up here for me. a tender mercy to say the least. we also met jason chaffetz, the UT senator, and some of the marriots (the hotel people). before these events i hadn't really thought about how involved the church is in government issues and how essential it is that we maintain that positive relationship so we can continue sending missionaries all over the world. the ambassador from Switzerland was the one who was a keynote speaker the night he came, and together with Elder Christofferson, they turned on the festival lights! It's just neat to see the whole world essentially come together in a building that stands just across from the temple. i didn't expect the evening to be focused on christ at all, but the speakers all spoke about the Savior and the church. I definitely cried that night, but of course that's no surprise.

i had a REALLY tough day on friday. we were at the temple, and even though it's a place of peace, i felt really overwhelmed and the exact opposite of peaceful. i later had the very distinct feeling that what they say is true, Christ really does walk the halls of his holy temples, and he really does care about me. right before going into the celestial room i had a breakdown, i was half overwhelmed with being a missionary and half overwhelmed by the spirit and christ's love for me. sister burnham just happened to be there right when i needed her. i was really missing home that day, and she was such a good proxy mom in that moment (and here i am crying all over again). she just hugged me. i didn't need her to say anything, i just needed a mom. it's such a blessing to work with these amazing senior couples at the VC. it really is like having 6 moms and dads who all love you so much. (elder & sister burnham, elder & sister petramalo, elder & sister eyring, elder & sister gillespie, elder & sister crandle, and president & sister cooke... could i be any luckier!?). sister busath also took care of me, as she always does. she came over and talked to me and made sure i was okay and gave me a few suggestions to help. i haven't been writing home lately, partly because time is so limited, but i see now that i really need to. i need to for my own sanity. i have discovered that i try to do as much missionary work as possible, that even during lunch time i try to make phone calls or focus on being a missionary. that's good, but it's also good to be kylee, to give myself the time to re-energize. because i don't have constant access to a computer, i can't blog as often as i'd like, so i have to write more letters and express my thoughts that way so i can clear my mind and be the best missionary possible. that's all i want, to be the best missionary i can be and to make heavenly father proud. it's so hard to find that balance between being a missionary and being a normal person. i also find it hard to balance all the "areas" and roles i have here. we are normal proselyting missionaries (although it doesn't feel like it right now with festival of lights every night), we are also online proselyting missionaries, and even visitor center missionaries. i so badly want to be able to do my 100% best in each area, but i am starting to see that it may not be possible to do that, that i have to focus on the specific area i am in when i am there. i have to be okay with not being the best at everything and i definitely need to work on not comparing myself to others, especially the elders who do have more time in the area because they are not at the VC. this morning as i was studying i was reading in alma 37:6-7 and that concept of by small and simple things, great things are brought to pass really stood out to me. i told you that the APs are helping out with our area now right? i started to feel like as sisters, we weren't doing anything or had done anything previous to their arrival, i felt like a bad missionary. but heavenly father helped me see that i am helping by doing the small and simple things. the elders are currently teaching Ray, his girlfriend and also his brother. some other elders found Ray and referred him to us as the YSA sisters. we couldn't get a hold of him for quite some time, but we eventually did and we were able to set up an appointment. The APs ended up coming to that appointment with us and taught such an amazing lesson. we were the ones that made that appointment happen, we were the ones who knocked on his door, introduced ourselves in such a way that he was willing to let us come back. small and simple. and now he's taking the lessons! i also read my patriarchal blessing this morning and felt so much love from heavenly father. i know he is proud of me for serving and i know he doesn't expect perfection, just my best efforts. i just need to be okay with my best sometimes being less than 100%.

LOVE YOU SO SO SO MUCH! all of you!

love, sister rowley