living the dream… in the city!

New transfer, new area, new companion. I'm in Chevy Chase now! It's a family ward mixed with mid-singles. and now i get to LIVE IN THE CITY!!!!!!!! you guys, it's the absolute best. i love that i get to live in dc, totally better than maryland. it's so fun taking the metro and walking around in a place so full of people that you hardly know who to talk to first! a missionary's dream! i'm living it! i love my new companion too, a tender mercy after a rough transfer. but you know what, those rough transfers really help you appreciate the good ones. and they help you grow and become a better person. i know i should have changed a lot of things about last transfer... heavenly father blessed me with many opportunities to be a better person, and i failed to take them. sister weber is from middleton, idaho and she is the absolutely sweetest. that's everyone's go-to description of her, because it really is the first thing you think of when you talk about sister weber - she is so sweet. she so sincerely cares about others. i love that we talk to each other and actually care about each other as people, it's one of those companions are more than just companions situation. needless to say, i'm blessed this transfer. chevy chase is amazing. it's the most productive and progressing area i've ever been in. lisa got baptized 2 days ago, we have two others getting baptized in july, and a couple progressing investigators as well. it's insane!! i've never experienced anything like that before! i thought i would miss kentlands more, but i think being in this particular area with this particular sister helps me not miss it as much. there are certainly things and people i miss, but it's not as bad as i anticipated. mary ellen and rick are at the top of my miss list, i think they will be for the rest of my mission.

i hit my official 9 month mark this week! I've been a missionary for exactly 9 months! Half way is both an exciting and scary thought. I'm half way through, I survived the hardest part, but I now only have 9 (technically less) months to be a missionary, to become who Heavenly Father wants me to become, and to help who I'm meant to help. I have a feeling it's going to go by much faster than these first nine months. I'll blink and it will all be over. i hope i can reach my potential as a missionary.

life is good! i'm happy and i'm working hard. i'm even getting up at 6:30 EVERY morning and this morning we ran outside. and by ran i mean mostly walked and jogged for like .5 seconds. #istillhateworkingout

LOVE YOU ALL SO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

from skype to baptism

Yesterday was D's baptism! He's the guy sister Fifita and I found together before they took missionaries out if the Seneca singles. I'm convinced that this is why they created that area, so that we could find D. He had met with missionaries prior, but lost contact and went off to school. We were the ones who found him again just before he heading back to school! We taught him over Skype, and then sister chapman and I continued to teach him. It eventually reached a point where we knew we needed to pass him to the Gaithersburg sisters. When he returned from school, these would be the missionaries in his area. As soon as we passed him, he committed to baptism! Being a VC sister brings so many blessings... Seeing D a few more times after is one of the many. I actually got to teach him at the VC when they brought him in! And now he's baptized!!!!! Sister Fifita and I got to go to the baptism together! There is no better way to celebrate my half-way mark as a missionary. No better way. The moment D came up out if the water was so special for me. I can't really describe it, but it was just this peace, an almost tangible peace. Sister Fifita
felt it too, I could tell. We just looked at each other with tears in our eyes and knew that this is what life is all about, helping others
grow closer to Christ. Because I'm here serving The Lord, I was sent to seneca singles, and sister Fifita and I were blessed to be
companions, who then found D and helped him get back in touch with missionaries which lead to this... A baptism that marks the
beginning of a new and happier life for him.

Lay it at His feet

Imagine this. You're sitting in a room full of people. It's quiet... you're all thinking about the question that has just been asked. What are your regrets? What are the thoughts and actions that plague your mind? What do you wish you could change? You start to go through every little thing that you've been doing wrong. The list gets longer and longer and you start to feel overwhelmed. All your flaws and faults lay before you and you wonder if you can ever overcome them. The perfectionist within is absolutely freaking out.

You move outside. Symbolic of all those regrets are weights, they sit in a pile practically begging to be picked up. Picked up and carried by you and everyone you're with. They come in all different shapes and sizes, similar to the regrets and individuals that surround you. Which weight should you pick? Will it be too heavy? Will you be able to carry it? How far will you have to go? Your regrets are now more than thoughts in your mind, they become physical weights to be carried by you and you alone. Sure, you're surrounded by friends, all of you carrying regrets, but nobody knows exactly how you feel. The sun beats down, the sweat starts dripping, the silence continues. Will this ever end? Will you ever feel relief?

The end is near. Just when you think you can't go any further, back inside you go. It's cooler there, you're protected from the sun. The bugs can't get you anymore, and would you look at that... there are chairs! The best part is yet to come though... no longer do you have to carry the weight alone. There on the stand is a statue of Jesus Christ, the Redeemer of all mankind. His arms are outstretched and you've been told to lay your weight at his feet. You walk up to Him and hand over your burdens, walking away lighter while He takes on the

load every single person was carrying. Not half of it, all of it.

9 For it is expedient that an atonement should be made; for according to the great plan of the Eternal God there must be an atonement made, or else all mankind must unavoidably perish; yea, all are hardened; yea, all are fallen and are lost, and must perish except it be through the atonement which it is expedient should be made. (Alma 34:9)

We did this as missionaries, reflecting on the regrets we have had on our mission thus far. I often worry about how I will feel at the end of my mission. Will I have learned anything? Will I have changed at all? Will I continue to regret those same things or will I had tried harder to change? This experience was exactly what I needed as a missionary who had just reached her half-way mark. It was one of those mighty change of heart experiences, one that empowered me and helped me see that as long as I rely on Jesus Christ, I can do anything! Focusing on the regrets we have is useless. It's important to recognize where change is needed, but dwelling is dangerous and because of Christ, it's unnecessary.

The zone leaders were originally going to assign certain weights to certain people, but we ended up choosing our own, which an elder pointed out, was perfect considering how we often are the ones who weigh ourselves down. We choose to let ourselves be burdened by our past regrets and mistakes, not those around us, and definitely not Heavenly Father. Even when we were seemingly alone, trekking along with our weights in hand and the sun beating down, we were never truly alone. We all had different weights, different regrets, but we were all together, all struggling in one way or another. Sometimes I forget that I'm not the only missionary here or anywhere who struggles. It was cool to visualize that, to see all of us carrying our own weight but knowing that everyone in that entire group was carrying something. Nobody was exempt. Nobody ever is. Life is meant to stretch us, we're here to learn and grow. Trials are an essential, humbling part of this journey we call life.

The power of the Atonement is real. I'm so grateful for Jesus Christ, for His love, His example, and His sacrifice. I'm especially grateful for this experience that has helped me change not only as a missionary, but as a person who is just trying to do her best. These are the type of experiences that help me become who God intends me to be. God has a plan for everyone, mistakes and trials are a part of that plan, but so is The Savior, the one who can help you, me, and everyone. Lay it all at His feet, you don't have to do it alone. 

happy fathers day to me

so i'm sitting down in the main theater on father's day, the Why I Believe event has just started. all of a sudden i'm called to the aisle... sister carcamo and sister amparo NEED me and it's URGENT. why on earth would they need me? i'm not on shift, what could have possibly happened that they need me for? i walk upstairs and start to worry that i'm in trouble or something. they have these worried looks on their faces, so i'm sure something bad has happened. they turn around and ask me if i'm good at taking pictures. i confusingly reply with a yes, and continue to wonder what on earth could be so urgent. they lead me outside and there they are.... uncle eric, aunt tamara, and all the kids!! HAPPY FATHER'S DAY TO ME! it was almost too good to be true. it took me a minute to realize that standing before me was my family, and they were real! and then i figured it out and started crying. it was so fun seeing them, catching up, taking cousinly selfies, skyping mom & dad for 1 minute (long enough to throw up the I LOVE YOU sign and tell dad happy father's day). seeing them was the biggest tender mercy of all time. we weren't even supposed to be there that night! sister croese had a meeting with sister cooke afterwards, so she asked us to come even though we didn't have someone for the ward or an investigator with us. i would have been so sad to find out they had stopped by on a night i wasn't there! they were heaven sent, it might have been a planned trip, but seeing and talking with them was a miracle that heavenly father knew i needed. i have been drowning this transfer. a lot of things have been a challenge, and in more ways than one, being with family was like finally coming up for a breath of fresh air. as i was sharing some of my mission experiences with them i was able to see how heavenly father loves me and cares about me despite my many, many weaknesses. i said things that i wasn't necessarily thinking, it's as if heavenly father was helping me say certain things, helping me see that i need to stop dwelling on my mistakes and move forward. as aunt tamara told me how awesome it was that i was avoiding the benches at the VC, i was able to feel that even though i do so many things wrong, that was something, one thing, i was doing right. heavenly father was grateful for that effort i was making to be more productive in the visitors center (thanks aunt tamara!). it really was the best thing of my life. i'm so so glad that happened and so grateful that was during this challenging time of my mission. one of the best parts of being on a mission is finding joy in others' joy. that's what sister busath did for me last night. i was so glad she was there, and that i was able to share that miracle with her. i couldn't pick anyone better or more important here in dc to introduce my family to. they even got to briefly meet the eyrings! now you can all say you've met president eyring's brother :]

time is pretty short today, we're going on last minute splits tonight because sister croese will be in yet another meeting. i'll be going to quince orchard with sister saviano and what do you know... i'll get dinner!!!!!! that in and of itself is a tender mercy.

best thing of my life, even better than seeing my family, was finally meeting with sandy. it was the absolute best night of my entire mission. SHE'S GETTING BAPTIZED!!!!!!!!!!!!! the date is july 26th, just one year and 2 days after i got my mission call. it was our first real sit-down lesson with her. we talked about the BOM, briefly about families being together forever, and mostly focusing on the feelings that she was feeling that night and that she had felt at the visitors center during christmas time. sandy and i both cried all night long, and the spirit was there in abundance. i knew that god had meant for me to meet sandy with sister owens last transfer, that i was meant to be the one who patiently and persistently kept in touch with her, that sister sottili and i were meant to be the ones who visited her on her special pre-opening day at the new talbots, and that i was meant to be a part of that first lesson with her. i've never prayed harder in my entire life for the salvation of another. throughout that entire lesson i just kept begging heavenly father to help her recognize the spirit that was there. the two of us cried all night and i could tell that she knew that this was true and coming from God. she is excited to read the book of mormon and is excited to grow closer to heavenly father! i ended up writing 5+ pages in my journal that night about sandy's story. as we were leaving she asked if she should get sundays off work, SHE asked US! we told her that would be great! and you know what's cool?? her boss has met me! inspired! meant to be! who knows how that will influence the things they allow her to ask for at work?! everything leading up to sandy is a miracle and tender mercy. we usually spend our tuesday nights with mary ellen & rick, but this one particular tuesday another family signed up to feed us dinner. because of that we were able to meet with sandy and now she's getting baptized!!!!!!! this is why i'm on a mission, this is why i'm here in DC, to meet sandy, and help her feel the spirit. transfers are coming up, and the original plan was to transfer me. now that president knows about sandy he/i have no idea what's going to happen. i've never been more anxious for a transfer in my life. i prayed about it, and asked heavenly father to help me feel peace about whatever happens. just after that i looked up and found this quote on the wall, "if God brought you to it, He will bring you through it." at first I thought to myself, "perfect! I get to stay with sandy here in Kentlands!" But now I'm trying to see it as the bigger picture. Perhaps it means that god brought me here on a mission and HE will be the one who brings me through it, HE will be the one who decides where I go and who I help.

whatever happens will be what God wants. This is HIS mission, HIS children, HIS time, and HIS decision. i'm learning to be better about that, to be more dedicated and serve Him in a way that demonstrates what a privilege this is. only 9 more months to grow and learn things i can learn nowhere else.

lots of love,
sister rowley

pics of the week

catching firefly's


p-day at great falls overlook

fireflies & waterfalls

I had a really good personal study this morning. I was reading in Ether chapter two, about the brother of Jared being chastised for not remembering the Lord and praying to Him. The verse that really stood out to me was verse 17, which is cool because it's one of those verses that doesn't normally stand out. It's about the barges, and doesn't have any of those cool one liners that everyone knows and loves in the scriptures. It was the word "tight" that got me. It's repeated in that single verse five times. I decided to look up the word on my ipad and discovered some definitions that I really liked... well sealed against something and also having close relations. I started to think about how we want to be well sealed from the world and the influences of Satan. I love that the verse talks about being sealed on all sides and how essential it is for us to be sealed in every aspect of our lives. I also loved the obvious reference to being close to Heavenly Father. I also thought about my family and those here that I love so much and how we can all be unified together in our purpose and direction, just like the brother of Jared and his family. I so love these stories here at the end of The Book of Mormon. I love how we learn that Heavenly Father doesn't give us the answer to everything, but instead He trusts us enough to try things on our own. I also really loved verse 25 of that same chapter, "And behold, I prepare you against these things; for ye cannot cross this great deep save I prepare you against the waves of the sea, and the winds which have gone forth, and the floods which shall come." Even though a mission was never my plan, I know that Heavenly Father prepared me to be one. I also know that being here is preparing me for the future, for the things I want most in life. I'm reminded of my favorite scripture, Helaman 5:12, and how we're told that it's only a matter of time when Satan throws at us his whirlwinds of trials, challenges, and temptations. It's not an IF it's a WHEN.

These past couple of days have been really good for me. I feel like I'm finally reaching that point where I'm ready to fully devote
myself. Took me long enough. We had such a great zone training Tuesday and I think that's where the devotion stemmed from. Elder Tavana and elder Hansen are so great, they put together a zone training workshop that was just so good. We started by sitting in the gym, thinking about the regrets we've had on our mission thus far, and boy do I have a lot. Sometimes it's hard to not let those regrets plague you as a missionary. I often worry about how I will feel at the end of my mission. Will I be grateful that I endured and now I can go home? Will I have learned anything? Will I have changed at all? Will I continue to regret those same things or will I had tried harder to change? So, what do I regret? I regret not being exactly obedient, and I especially regret that that's still something I'm struggling with. I regret not lifting and loving my companions more in the moment, not studying preach my gospel more/not knowing the doctrines and lessons  well enough. regret not talking with everyone, especially on the streets. Sometimes I even regret things like not journaling as much as i should, or being happier (especially in my first few  transfers). BUT, dwelling on these regrets is useless. It's important to recognize where change is needed, but dwelling is dangerous and, because of Christ, unnecessary. That's what the zone leaders tried to teach us with their workshop. After we thought about our regrets we went outside where we found a pile of weights symbolizing our mission regrets. We were asked to pick something to carry. The zone leaders were originally going to assign certain weights to people, but we ended up choosing our own, which an elder pointed out, was perfect seeing how we often weigh ourselves down. We choose to let ourselves be burdened by our past regrets and mistakes, not those around us, and definitely not Heavenly Father. So we walk around the church building with our weights in hand. There was so much symbolism in this entire experience, it was so awesome. I loved how we were all together. We all had different weights, but we were all together. Sometimes I forget that I'm not the only missionary here or anywhere who struggles, and believe it of not, we all struggle with a lot of the same things. It was cool to visualize that, to see all of us carrying our own weight but knowing that everyone in that entire group was carrying weight too. No one was exempt. We walked back into the church and ended where we started, only this time there was a cardboard cut
out of the Christus statute we have in the VC. As we walked into the room, elder Hansen instructed us, "lay it at his feet." So that's what we did. We walked up to the statue of Christ and handed over our burdens. We walked away lighter and grateful, while He took on the load we were each carrying. Not half of it, all of it. The power of the atonement is real. I'm so grateful for Jesus Christ, and I'm especially grateful for this experience I had that has helped me change as a missionary and as a person. These are the type of experiences that make these 18 months worth it entirely.

thursday this week was weird. i cried all day, and for no good reason. i just cried. this was when i was on exchanges with sister sottili. i can't remember when it started, but i do remember that she had told me she spent some of her personal study time studying FOR ME! okaaaay, nicest person ever! and then she just said an amazing prayer that morning, and then this & that, and i just kept crying. and it wasn't like the sad, this is too hard cry, it was just a half feeling the spirit, half overwhelmed/stressed, half happy cry

so we have these benches here at the VC that habitually, all the sisters sit on during shift. there have been times when i've looked back and seen all the sisters sitting there looking like they are dead tired, sick of everything and everyone, and hating life. i've vowed to not sit on the couch anymore, and ever since i've told myself that, i haven't!!! it's been so so great! i haven't necessarily seen any miraculous miracles because of it, but i have felt more productive and felt like a better missionary. because i didn't sit on the bench one day, i was able to help one of the newer sisters work on her new sister training and even talk with her about obedience and being truly dedicated as a missionary. it was so cool, she just decided to go into a teaching room for a few minutes because she decided she needed to pray. she had been thinking about how she hasn't been the best she could be and she wanted to change that. i related and we were able to really help each other feel motivated to change. i'm so grateful for the example of so many around me. while others are perhaps being the example in the opposite direction, there are sisters who want to be more dedicated and obedient, and that helps me. i also started to reflect on the day i cried so much and was reminded of the 40 day fast. i felt like a HUGE failure with that, but i started to think about this new shift i've been having, this one of dedication and change. perhaps the results of my 40 day fast were a little after the actual experience of fasting for 40 days. that actually happens often for me. like when i go to the temple, i rarely have a super inspirational experience inside, but rather it's afterwards when i am reflecting again or a miracle happens that i am able to recognize that the temple played a part in that.

i had another one of those 1/7 touches moment at the vc. sometimes it's hard to say goodbye to someone knowing that you tried to offer them everything they could ever want in their life, but they decline it. they had come in just randomly because they had driven past the temple for many years and this time they decided to stop in. i taught them about the temple and testified, but in the end they weren't interested in learning more. they were happy with what they have already. the worst is when you try to explain to someone that there is a special spirit here in the vc and they then attribute it to you calling you charming or whatever. it's like, noooo - it's not me! it's the spirit! say yes to missionaries! you won't regret it! but everyone has their agency and i have to be okay with that. and i am. i'm okay with the fact that people come and go and i may never know how i helped them until the next life.

another highlight: seeing fireflies for the second time in my entire life! magic at it's finest.

thanks for the emails this week! i was flooded with goodness from friends & family (and thanks for the letter from amy too!!)! Ah, it just makes me so happy to hear from everyone. 

LOVE YOU SO MUCHHHH!!!!!!

love, sister rowley

pics of the week

Memorial Day

Mosquitos and Ticks

[tick courtesy of Sister Rowley’s leg]

ticked (and not the mad kind)

um hi, i got a tick. yeah.... i was getting ready to shower and i saw this scab looking thing on my leg. i don't usually pick scabs so i have no idea why i decided to pick this one, but i did, and then it started moving!!!!! i didn't know what it was, so i put it in a zip-loc baggie and took it to district meeting. there the elders confirmed that it was indeed a baby tick. who knows how long it was in me. but i'm alive! i just realized i have a cold right now, but that would have nothing to do with the tick right? no reason to start freaking out? last night was rough for me. my back & hips were in major pain, but we stayed out all night (even though i wanted to go home so bad). i went home and went straight to bed. i finally got to sleep, and woke up with the pain gone, but i'm congested and talking with a real cool "i'm sick" voice. i missed mom again. even a cold and some back pain causes me to miss mom.

LOVE YOU!

- sister rowley

ps. i know i suck at writing back. but who wants to send me more mail this week? YOU DO! please do. it makes my day. i'll try to be better at writing back. mail, email, whatevs!