God gave us voices, so we must sing

I've been sitting here staring at my blog trying to figure out what to do... perhaps if I stare long enough the inspiration will jump out of the screen and form itself into one of those well-written, awe-inspiring blog posts. I have all these internal questions that still go unanswered. What do I write about? How do I say it? What does the Lord expect me to do with this blog and what is MY personal purpose as a blogging missionary?

Missionaries all over the world are unified in their purpose; we invite others to come unto Christ by helping them receive the restored gospel through faith in Jesus Christ and His Atonement, repentance, baptism, receiving the gift of the Holy Ghost, and enduring to the end. We all have the same purpose, and we often use the same tools, but we're all a little different too. We all have unique talents and life stories, we're blessed with different personalities that inspire different people. We all have something to offer, we just have to be willing to discover how exactly the Lord wants us to share His message, and then go and do! I'm not here to tell you I'm the best blogger in the history of life, because let's face it... I'm not, but I am here to tell you that I've discovered a God-given talent and He expects me to use it. Just a couple weeks after opening my mission call, I heard the news: the Washington DC North Mission was going to be one of the first few missions to test-drive online proselyting! I had already felt that peaceful confirmation that I was indeed called of God to serve in the exact mission I was meant to be in, but then online proselyting was announced and I had this profound realization... God loves me, He knows me, and He wants to help me help His children.

This blog has been put on the back burner for the past 10 months, but Heavenly Father has reminded me that it's time to use my talents to share His gospel online. The inspiration came to me as I was listening to Sandra Turley perform at the Washington DC Temple Visitors' Center. Sandra has been blessed with this beautiful singing voice that grabs hold of your heart and settles in the soul. She spoke a great deal of God that night, and the love that He has for each and every one of His children. She then talked about this gift we have each been given. A "voice" is what she called the gift, but I knew for me it was more of a metaphorical voice. One that didn't sing, but instead one that wrote. In my heart I knew that this blog was a gift given to me from Heavenly Father and I needed to use it to spread His message of hope and gospel of truth. We're all pretty aware of the things we're good at, but are we using them the way the Lord intended? That's why I'm resurfacing here on this blog, trying to show my Heavenly Father how grateful I am to be His representative, to have this blog, and to live His gospel. Find your talents, talk to God about it, and start actively using them to inspire those around you. Remember the parable of the talents? I so want to have an encounter someday where the Lord sits me down and talks to me about all the talents He blessed me with. I hope to hear him say, "Well done, thou good and faithful servant: thou hast been faithful over a few things, I will make thee ruler over many things: enter thou into the joy of thy lord."  (Matthew 25:21)

Stick around, I plan on being here a little more regularly. I've learned some pretty neat lessons lately, the kind that are worth sharing with the world, even if it's just the online world.

photo from: https://www.facebook.com/sandradturley

the wonderful "here's what happened" series

There were a bunch of youth tours this week at the VC. I had her another awkward moment, because that's what missionaries do – walk around looking for ways to be awkward. This time we were getting the youth grouped off to do some role plays and I mistook a leader for a youth. He was offended, and I tried to pull the "oh, it's okay people think I'm 12 all the time" but he didn't care. What's worse is he's probably my age and definitely super cute, but whatevs. I'll never see him again and I got him to help with role plays, so I guess I win? The group i latched onto was super awesome and totally went with things when i suggested we do something different and role play as if we were on Facebook. Gotta keep things current you know? It turned out really well and one kid in the group totally blew me away with his ability to just teach all of lesson one on the spot! Man, these youth are going to be such good missionaries someday!

this week was like a wonderful "here's what happened" series. i once wrote home about a guy who walked into the VC having a super rough day. i ended up playing the christus for him and i think i remember describing the situation like word vomit. that's what i did. i just kept saying all this stuff and then he just cried and said thank you. i knew that i had said what he needed to hear and that i had fulfilled my purpose as a visitors center missionary. well, i walk out of a meeting on sunday and there he is at church!! i didn't recognize him at first, i knew i had meet him before, but i had attached another situation to the face and though it was someone else. when it finally donned on me who he was i got sooo excited! we both realized where we had met and he again thanked me for helping him out that day. he was really struggling, and i got to do and say as the Lord would have. what a privilege!

we had a miracle walk right into church this week. she had walked in after our three hour service, and sat down. some members started talking to her and before i knew it we were getting her name, number, and making an appointment for this thursday! she was just looking for a church that talked about christ and when she found us she walked right in! her name is fari, we think she's originally from somewhere in the middle east, but she moved to DC from california. we are excited to teach her and get to know her more this week! MIRACLES!!

Gratitude and rainbows:

We had the BEST sacrament meeting ever on Sunday. Brother Thomas compiled letters from his two sons who are currently serving missions and it was like this big, huge hellloooo sister Rowley, this is what you need to change!! He titled the talk, gratitude and rainbows (rainbows being tender mercies) and focused on how gratitude leads to happiness. He used the scripture "men are that they might have joy" emphasizing the word might. It's up to us! We have to constantly seek after joy in our lives, and not just as missionaries. The most joy in life can be found in following The Lord. There really is no better way to find this joy. The stories he shared from his sons were just everything I needed to hear. Sometimes I think I'm the only one who
has a hard time being Christlike or struggles with constant happiness as a missionary, but these elders have had experiences just like me! e're all learning how to be better sons and daughters of God, and reality check sister Rowley... it takes time!

A question was posed - what was the happiest day of your life? It took no more than a few seconds for me to come up with my answer. Add guess what... Just like brother Thomas' son, it was a day I was serving the Lord as a full time missionary. It was the day I taught Sandy Stallsworth in kentlands. I know she hasn't been meeting with missionaries since that one night we put her on date, so even though she isn't progressing right now, that was the best night of my entire life. I have honestly never been happier. The spirit was so strong and I knew she was feeling Heavenly Father's love for her. I pray that she'll find the missionaries again and really take the time to learn more about the gospel. I also think of Mary Ellen and Rick anytime I think of my happiest moments. I am so grateful that The Lord has blessed me with some of the most amazing people and amazing experiences.

here's to another week of serving the Lord and my attempt to be more grateful and look for more rainbows. love you all so much and miss you too!

love, sister rowley

pic of the week

accidental triplets at the visitor center (with sister truman & sister owens)

robot

i felt like a robot this week. i started to really struggle in the VC, feeling like we all say the same things over and over again, as if we're reading a script. it was killlling me! so i first talked to elder burnham about it (they're leaving this transfer, back to Logan, and we're all pretty much devastated about it). he gave me a few tips and then i sat on the bench and started searching the book of mormon for answers. i looked up "teach" in the index and started reading all the scriptures. i discovered that i already knew all the answers, i just need to apply them!

i must first be teachable.

rely on the example of my amazing parents (1 nephi 1:1)

rely on the example of Christ (1 nephi 20:17)

drop the bad attitude about being full VC (2 nephi 25:28)

be obedient (mosiah 3:14)

PRAY (2 nephi 32:8)

be patient with myself (2 nephi 33:1)

believe in Christ and study his words (2 nephi 33:10)

i still have many scriptures to go through, and of course i need to actually do the things i learned about, but i'm grateful that i was able to find answers in the book of mormon like that. how blessed are we to have such a powerful book to guide us in closer to the savior.

pics of the week

   

tracting into seinfeld & freedom from tights!

Once upon a time we were tracting a little bit before FHE and ended up
knocking on a door where they were watching the best show of all time.
Oh heeeey Seinfeld. Tender mercy? Miracle? Distraction? I don't know,
but it was awesome. Don't worry, I only saw it long enough to know it
was Seinfeld but not long enough to know which episode.

Best news of my life... no more tights in the VC! It's been a rule
that we must wear tights when we're at the VC for shift, even in the
summer, but they finalllly got rid of that. Yay! A positive change
amongst all these not so easy ones. Isn't it crazy how something like
tights makes the biggest difference in the life of a sister
missionary. We would've thrown a party to celebrate if we could've.

I still have those random moments where it's mind blowing that I'm on
a mission. I'll be sitting there, listening in church or even in the
middle of a lesson and I just can't believe that I'm really here. I'm
living something I never even imagined. Proof that with god, nothing
is impossible, because hellloooo Kylee Rowley is on a mission!
You know you're a missionary LIVING IN THE CITY when you're poor by
week three. For reals though. Between metro (thank goodness they
reimburse us) and all the good restaurants, I'm living the let's eat
cereal for every meal dream. Good thing I never spent that Costco card
mom sent me... We're heading that way today so I can actually have
some food for the remainder of the transfer.

With the new schedules at the VC, we no longer have sisters cleaning
the lounge after shift and guess what? It's disgusting. I cleaned and
scrubbed 2 days in a row because after you clean it once, it gets
dirty in a matter of minutes. Now i regret all those many times back
home that I put my dishes in the sink instead of this dishwasher that
was RIGHT THERE! It's not that hard to clean up after yourself. But I
suppose I'm not only learning that lesson but also learning about
tolerance, patience, and service.

President Cooke was super sad the past little while (he's back to
"livin the dream" though so we're all grateful for that). Majority of
the missionaries were late coming back from fireworks on the fourth
and it really took a toll on him. We had lost his trust - the whole
situation was very much like a bunch of disobedient kids and a very
disappointed father. He called all those who were late and uninvited
them to the nationals baseball game we all go to as a mission, somehow
we were skipped on the calling tree even though we too were late.

Instead of hearing his devastation over the phone, I had to un-invite
ourselves in person. At that time though he had been thinking about it
more and even reached a point of fasting and prayer so I was left with
a "stay tuned..." In the end, president decided that it was a slight
set up. That he knew we would all struggle to make if back in time and
that going to the nats game without the whole family would be
pointless and just downright sad. So he's taken the situation and used
it as a lesson of redemption and mercy. All those who were late have
been invited to participate in a service project on an upcoming p-day
to earn back our seat to the nats game. This whole situation has been
a humbling and thought provoking one for me, I think for president
too. I've been thinking about it lately and been able to learn a lot
more about the atonement, nature of Christ, and even myself.

I learned the importance of moving on and looking forward. As awful as
I felt for disappointing president Cooke, I was able to see that there
was nothing I could do about it, so I had to just keep smiling and
keep striving for improvement. Everyday is an opportunity to be
better. I might not have another experience where I can make it home
on time from fireworks, but I can be more obedient in other aspects of
my life and be better in other ways. The atonement was sort of brought
to life for me though this experience. Seeing how sad president was
really helped me picture just how sad Christ and Heavenly Father are
when we disobey them. It's heartbreaking and it's real. It leads to a
spiritual halt and a temporarily altered relationship. The love is
always there, which is why I think the disappointment is that much
harder. But redemption is always a part of the plan, and deep down I
knew that it would also be a part of president Cooke's plan. I knew he
loved us too much to go to the game without ALL of us. Likewise,
Heavenly Father loves us all too much to leave us in our sins unable
to progress towards that which will make not only us happiest, but Him
as well. He wants all of his children to return to him, in this life
and in the next. I see how important it is for us, the ones who made
the mistake, to step up and act. We were extended great mercy, but the
mercy alone doesn't get us to the game, we must act and earn that
trust back. Heavenly Father is the same way. We must not sit on the
sidelines and thank God for his mercy, we must use it! We must rely on
the atonement of Jesus Christ. We cannot become better or truly change
without the action part. I'm so grateful for this learning experience
and for the love that president Cooke has for us as missionaries.

There's nothing better than hearing president return to his statement,
"livin the dream!" Redemptive power is real and the atonement is
necessary. Someday I hope we can all return home to our loving
Heavenly Father and hear him say "Well done, thou good and faithful
servant: thou hast been faithful over a few things, I will make thee
ruler over many things: enter thou into the joy of thy lord." (Matthew
25:21)

LOVE YOU ALL SOOOOOOO MUCH!

- sister rowley

You know you're a missionary when you're not only awkward in person, but also online.

I'm officially the most awkward missionary ever. So we're leaving the
metro and going up this escalator to walk back to our car. Instead of
standing straight, like normal people, I end up standing sideways,
facing the other escalator that's going down. Every time someone
looked over, I pulled out my most awkward, toothless smile. The worst
part, I didn't even feel weird about it until afterwards when I
started thinking about the situation. Obviously I've been a missionary
for 9 months because awkward situations are only awkward after i think
about what I've just done. Those poor people probably thought I was
crazy.

You know you're a missionary when you're not only awkward in person,
but also online. Oh man, this one is good. So we're talking to this
kid in the DC 2nd YSA ward who is going to help us fellowship our
investigator and potentially help her move over to YSA. He starts
telling us about institute so we ask him which building it's held in.
He responds and then comes my response... for some reason I'm
incapable of handling FB in the iPad. I thought I accidentally exited
out or something so when I try to get back I then press this little
thumbs up. But when you press that it appears in the screen as a
MASSIVE thumbs up. "Where's institute?" "The Barlow center" ---
MASSIVE THUMBS UP. It's probably not as big a deal as I'm making it,
but I felt so foolish. I would never send such a thing to anyone over
FB in real life and here I am as a missionary giving this massive
thumbs up about institute. Whatevs. I wish you could've been there
because it's ten times funnier in the moment than over an email. I did
take a great picture to always remember my awkwardness :]

Party in the Nation's Capitol

We definitely had a party in the nation's Capitol on the fourth. We were given a full p-day, woooo! I was lucky enough to spend the entire day with the birthday girl, sister chapman! We went to the metro super early to avoid the crowds, but discovered that the metro didn't open until 7am... Party in McDonald's. We finally made it to the city and then went on a breakfast hunt. We ended up eating at Lincoln's waffle shop - very appropriate for the fourth. It was one of those random little places that you would never choose based on looks, but the place was hoppin and we even made some friends while there! We walked around for the majority of our day. Large groups of sisters = a major lack of solid plans and decisions. That's when I really started to miss home. But The Lord blessed me with a little piece of home and lots of love from strangers. We felt like celebs with all the "hi, sisters!" and excited waves. Yay for lots of members saying hi and making me feel loved. We also had a random run in with two boys I knew
from the U (boo and tanner, Bryn!).

We watched like 2 minutes of the parade because we were melting in the sun and it wasn't that exciting. I mean, I watched it from some random guys iPad because I couldn't see anything (short girl problems). The original plan was that we had shift at the VC that night - we were pretty bitter about it, which is stupid really, because we're missionaries for heavens sake! That's what we're here to do! Teach the gospel! I feel bad about it now, but in the moment I was really bummed that all the other missionaries would be in the city for fireworks while we were at the likely empty VC, sitting on the bench. We wend to Georgetown (my fave) and had pizza and cupcakes before heading back for shift.

As soon as we got off the metro we were informed that plans had changed and they were giving us the night off just like all the other missionaries. Birthday miracle for sister chapman! We were so pumped and so grateful. We had just gotten off the metro so we decided to hang out for a bit before going back to the city. We shopped at h&m (new skirt!), took quick showers, and then headed back for FIREWORKS IN THE CITY!!!!! Shortest but best firework show ever. It was sooooo good. I had an identity crisis because there was "worldly" music being sung by a choir and also playing during the firework show so it was weird because I wanted to just dance and sing along but I'm a missionary so I didn't know what to do. We met these adorable RM sisters, one served in Manchester I think and the other was a salt lake VC sister! They were the cutest and ended up chatting with us for
awhile. They then brought their kids over and gave us all glow sticks.

Our curfew that night was extended to 10:30pm. We figured we would leave just before the fireworks ended to make it home on time. Little did we know, the firework show was suuuuper short. All of a sudden it was over and we has to book it to the metro station. Needless to say, the crowds were CRAZY and we were late getting in. Pretty much every missionary in the mission was late. President Cooke was disappointed and I feel awful about it. I never wanted to be a missionary who disappointed the mission president.

As I reflect on my day, I regret not taking in the moment more and finding the joy in the little things like I often do in life. I
should've been more grateful and more excited, I should've tried harder to not miss home. I was in the nation's Capitol for the Fourth of July!! What a blessing it is to be living in this country. We have the restored gospel because of the founding fathers and the freedoms we enjoy here.

pics of the week

Half way mark 3x3= nine months | New Companion…Sister Weber