I've been thinking about agency lately. It's quite amazing isn't it... the ability to choose for ourselves? We get to choose what to wear and what to eat, we get to choose what to study and where we apply for jobs. We get to choose what our favorite color is, decide if we're going to make the bed, or put our seat belt on when we get in the car. We get to choose whether or not we act in kindness or pridefully walk away. No matter the case, we always get to choose!
I chose to attend the University of Utah (my entire family cheers for BYU). I chose to start blogging back in 2008, a decision I will never regret. As far as recent choices go, I'm here dedicating 18-months of my life to the Lord. I even get to choose how I spend my time here... yes, we have rules, but we exercise agency in following them. What I'm currently learning is that happiness is a choice, one that I sometimes fail to make.
We recently had what is sometimes referred to as, "the golden investigator" - he was more ready to hear and accept The Gospel of Jesus Christ than anyone I had previously met (ignore the fact that I've only been serving for two months). I was convinced that he would be the first baptism of my mission and that he would share the gospel with his family and friends. Much of my happiness stemmed from him and his choice to meet with us. He was absolutely amazing and The Spirit was always with us as we taught and bore testimony. Just a few days ago he dropped us. He no longer wanted to meet, no longer wanted to be baptized, and no longer wanted to be apart of what I was certain he was ready for. I once thought that heartbreak was when the boy you had a crush on didn't like you back... that was nothing compared to this. I really struggled those next few days. I would ask myself what I did wrong and wondered what I could have done better to help him accept our message. He exercised agency and I didn't like the results.
Just now as I was writing my thoughts, I started thinking about how Heavenly Father must feel when we make choices that do not align with His hopes and will for us. Absolute heartbreak. But He, being all-knowing, foresaw that we would make mistakes and would need a way to overcome them. That is why He sent us the ultimate gift - the gift of The Atonement. It is because of Jesus Christ and his sacrifice that we are capable of overcoming all that we face.
I resolve to be more mindful of my choices, particularly my choice to be happy. I've always known that happiness is a choice, but I'm learning it more than ever as a full-time missionary. The other day someone told me, "you have two weeks to get happy", but really I only need one minute. A small act of kindness, a short prayer to Heavenly Father, or a hymn silently sung. It feels hard in the heat of the moment, but choosing happiness is one of the easiest and greatest choices to make. Heavenly Father blessed me with agency, I can and must choose to live happily and righteously.
Post a Comment