Serving a mission is the hardest thing I have ever done in my life. People told me it would be hard, but I don't think anyone can ever understand just how hard missionary work is until you serve one. And even then, it's hard in very different ways for each missionary and each mission. I have been on the world's largest emotional roller coaster. One minute I love my life, the next minute I'm ready to quit and looking for tissues so I can dab my eyes (that line is for you, friends). I refuse to quit though, I think part of it is because I'm stubborn and the other part is because I know that Heavenly Father wants me here. I often ask myself that question, and although the list is rather small, there are definite reasons why I am here.
- So I could meet Sister Busath. She has become my very best friend here on the mission, and I know we will be friends forever. She helps me through so much and always acts in love for everyone and anyone she talks to - missionaries included.
- President Cooke even once told me that he needs me here.
- Because Heavenly Father asked me to be here.
- To strengthen my own testimony.
- To bless my family back home.
- To be worthy of my future husband.
- To become a better mother.
Christmas was so good, so hard, and so different this year. I really missed home and especially missed being with family, but I also discovered that I have family here. I have the very best second family here in DC. We had a party on Christmas Eve at the VC with all the sisters and senior couples. I ended up leaving with tears streaming down my face because I felt so overwhelmed by how loved I am (all of the sisters got gift cards for Cafe Rio, treats, bracelets, pictures, and $30 to Macy's). I really learned the beauty of giving, oddly enough I learned it by receiving. Earlier that day we had a special Christmas Eve dinner where we were taken to "Jerusalem" to eat like Mary would have. It was a very simple dinner, one of bread, hummus, cheese, nuts, dried fruit, and grape juice. I must admit, I was grumpy about it at first. I didn't like much of what we were having and I felt as though I wasn't being fed enough food for a long evening at the VC. The theme for Christmas this year: HUMILITY. I learned a lot of humility in a lot of different ways. I started to really think about how much I am blessed with, both back home and here in DC. I am a missionary who gets fed dinner every single night at the VC during Festival of Lights, we get iPads and iPhones this week, I have Cafe Rio in my area and have been at least 5 times since arriving, I have access to email and receive letters from my friends & family often (THANK YOU, THANK YOU!), I got to skype home for Christmas, and the list goes on and on and on...
I have a LONG ways to go, but I definitely see that I am changing and becoming better. It's a slow process, but it is a process and it is happening. I don't always see it, but sometimes I do and those times I don't, there are people around me who help me out by showing me just how much I'm growing. We got bookmarks this year that have a list of things the other sisters think about us. There is one remark in particular that really helps me, and especially helped me out yesterday as I was struggling (again for the millionth time), "The only thing Heavenly Father expects is that we are trying and progressing. You are."
LOVE YOU SO MUCH!
Thank you for all that you do, for all your love & support, and especially for your prayers!
go sister rowley! she is amazing.
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